tuesday i got the bags done and off to the bag lady, thanks to d's help. i called the fashion designer and demanded patternmaking money. we'll see the check she sends me. i will be happy if it's $100 at this point, but i'm sure she won't pay me that much. ugh, whatever. d picked me up after the bag lady came by and we went to jr's christmas program, which was very very lo-fi, and boring, but still cute. it was all hard, doing these public things with d when i'm feeling so hot for her these days. so we went home and made dinner and played with jr. my fave line of the evening was in the kitchen when i made some joke about our plans for the evening, and d weighed her 2 options in her hands. "hmmm- chutes and ladders or my hot girlfriend in my bedroom-chutes and ladders or my hot girlfriend in the bedroom. i'm thinking- this is a tough decision...." and actually she ended up getting both. our three month anniversary is friday, and on the bed she'd left a card for me and the cutest little box ever... and inside was a ring. goddess, i hate that clenched up feeling inside about handling the giver's feelings first and making sure they know i appriciate what they're trying to do and dealing with my own panic later. we talked about it though. i actually said, "this ring signifies no sort of commitment, you just got it for me because i wear rings a lot and you could have gotten me a necklace and it's just a pice of jewelry, you would have gotten me a braclet but i don't wear them, right?" she said she knew i'd freak out and it wasn't like it was a diamond or something. so then we got into the whole no diamonds for me EVER, and she didn't even know about diamond mines or fair trade diamonds... my goddess. but i do like the ring- it's silver with six inset triangle gems the colors of the pride flag. (she said she couldn't decide between that one and one with 2 women's symbols... it was hard for even me to give advice, because politically it's more important for me to be a feminist than queer- but visually, i'll always vote color. as my grandma says, i like rainbows.)
today was another long day at teh flowershop. it's been so crazy there- happy holidays. i have so much daily paperwork to do that just hasn't been getting done because we've been spending so much time doing partys and balloons and pointsettias and stuff. goddess. but mom and z's gifts both arrived via ups yesterday, so i had those to bring home. then i headed to the spectacle space, where christopher and i made curtains and i worked on my my dad's gift. that thick&quick stuff- they're not kidding! it was done in, like, 2 hrs. i still have to do the accessories, but that would give me about an inch and a half of my sock knitting. it's like a completely different craft or something.
d texted me and offered me a ride home, so i saw her today, too. she still hasn't taken her rental car back, and there are other things that are still falling apart in her life that make me worried. i've been trying to live by ch's motto of judging people by their actions not their words, and so far d has said things both about who she is and who she hopes to be or wishes she was.... so it's just going to take patience to see how it all shakes out. and meanwhile, i need to just rest on what a good time we're having.
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