there's so fucking much i'm thinking about, and i want to share it with you all, but i can't. i have to draw. i'm a wreck from this play- it's just like it always is, i hate it, i don't know how to fix it. i hate doing it so much- actually, the actual doing it isn't horrible, it's starting to do it, and then presenting the final product i dispise. and i just procrastinate and procrastinate, and i don't do it, i just worry more, and it's a mess. i've been taking my larch, hornbeam, white chestnut, but i'm still not moving. finally did my costume plot at 10 last night, then left work at 3 today to go swatching. went to vogue in evanston, amazing and close to me, and handcock but didn't find anything. i'm pretty confident about my swatches. so i've caught up what i was supposed to have done for the last meeting. now i just need to draw the fucking costumes, transfer them to watercolor paper, and paint them. the meeting's at 1 tomorrow. 17 1/2 hrs. from now.
my life is selfimposed mental hell. i will never survive the hours between now and 3 tomorrow.
i want to tell you all about lyon/ martin's lesbian / woman. i want to tell you about my thoughts on the michigan womyn's music festival and the history of lesbianism as i've learned through this tome.
i wanna tell you about how delightful it is laura is stalking me via text message and email.
i wanna tell you about the sweater i'm knitting.
i need to unpack, clean the fridge, go to the library, figure out how the FUCK i'm going to pay for my last year of school (hint: it won't be involving financial aid, someone never filled out a fafsa) pay al my bills, and do a shitload of laundry.
somebody kill me now.
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