hunkering

ch mentioned monday that he's in vday mode, deleting all but the essentials from his life. he wasn't going to go to square dancing,e ven, this week. but i persuaded him. i ended up going to his house after work. this had the mutually benificial strategy of a. me getting him moving so he wouldn't just go to bed, but instead go dance, and b. him feeding me a particularly delicious dinner (toast cubes, cheese, broccoli and zucchini, and eggs)

was so tired after dancing. it'd been a crazy day after work. but did the right thing, and called my friends back. or was it the right thing? a's terribly depressed, scarily depressed. what do you all do about me? i don't know what to do about her. i said something that made her just furious and hang up on me. so i called her back and aplogized and listened for awhile. also talked to d, before and after that. it's been tough. i don't know what will happen with us. her side of the story is that she'd had a horrible day, her mom's in the hospital, her son's sick, her boss wouldn't let her leave to get him from school, etc. all she wanted to do was tell her girlfriend all about it at the end of a long day. and she felt her girlfriend was totally blowing her off. my side is: it's v-day. we're at v minus 9. i've spent all day racing around at the flowershop then square dancing. all i want to do is go to bed. i thought i did the RIGHT thing by calling her. but apparently i didn't listen enough. i was too tired to fight, so i called her back and sucked it up and listened. and i DO care about her and i DO want to know. but i'm in holiday mode. i too am deletign essentials from my life. the care and feeding of a relationship is NOT essential. sleep is. i'll let you know how it goes.

but now, i'm going to bed. another long day today. they're all long days, i know. came home and cooked my rainbow chard, which is delcious but unfortunately WAY too salty. i saved it, though. i'll probably be desprate enough to eat it again. instead, i'm having half a grapefruit for desert. it is making me very happy. goodnight.