overwhelming

liz's last comment was so right on about the suburbs. it was said so nicely in such an understanding way, and i'm glad someone could present it sensibly, because i can't, i am so violently opposed to the suburbs. it's all about the sameness to me. i guess i should look at it as merely underwhelming. but i want to live my life in a state of overwhelm, i guess. no, it's not overwhelm as much as hyperexposure. i want to experience it all, do everything, make all the choices, in color. i want to see the details in the shadows when the sunlight glows so bright it bleeds into the dark areas of the photograph.

i really think all the choices i have are a blessing, not something to be taken for granted. as a rich american, i have so many options, and one of the things i hate most about walmart is how they take options away from people. why do so many people feel they have to go to walmart? why is there no where else in all of small town america to shop? why are we so focused on shopping, anyway?

but when i shop, i want to be able to buy my produce at devon market, buy my clothes at ragstock, buy my camera parts at central camera. the idea of texting my sister in north carolina about what to eat at ruby tuesdays in illinois because she worked at one in new york... it's novel for me, but it's less fun when i realize people live their whole lives like this. i need to remember that simple is comfortable for most of the country, that fewer choices is calming, healthy, that neutral colored wall treatments feel cozy.

actually, another insult that sticks with me was from a member of my old church who came into my wonderful homey apartment and very politely said, "you LIVE here? i couldn't do it, it's too much, i'd be overstimulated." i guess if i expect her to understand how my barrage of color makes me soothed, happy and content, i should understand how her blandness does the same to her.

i'm not changing, though. and you still shouldn't shop at walmart.