dear germans,
what do you want from america? i want german tampons. i want, to be precice, o.b.leichte tage comfort tampons. the blue ones. they're perfect. i mix an match a box of american pink ones and a box of german blue ones and i'm good to go. except- 2.5 years after my last german stockkpiling i'm running low. and i've been trolling the internet trying to find an acceptable u.s. substitute. and, well, there's good news and bad news.
the bad news is there is nothing that looks similar and easily accessable.
the good news is, it looks like they've discontinued the stupid nasty silk ease in favor of something pro-comfort. i am FACINATED by what this says about the influence of america. once you bring the product here, just comfort isn't good enough. it has to be PRO. and then there's the size comparison. america's all clinical about it, giving absorbency in grams. in german, they just have little raindrops. but the names! the smallest ones in both contries are pink. but in germany they're called minis, and in america, they're regular. the next size up in germany are the ones i like, the light days. in america the next ones are super. no way do i need SUPER. or maybe that's the german influence, because the next two sizes in germany are normal and super, then there's also a super plus. you may wonder what america has after it's super. it goes super plus and then ultra. only in america do we have the ultratampon!
so what do you think? do germans bleed more than americans, that their light days are our super days? or do you think we have taken super sizing to such an exreme that we can't even talk about TAMPONS in rational terms?
if i was mimi smartypants, i would sign off here in a clever way referencing the vanity sizing of everything an american woman wears.
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