new news

my sister called me today at work to say the biopsy's back and it's a different kind of cancer than they thought. so it's grows much faster... but it also dies much faster, so hopefully that will work in her favor. i've been getting used to the IDEA of it all, but then last night instead of talking just ABOUT it to lisa! or allie or anyone who will listen, i actually talked to mom again, and whew, this xmas is going to be hard. i think i've been coping, i've been handling it pretty well considering. but z just got there this afternoon, and it's not something i'm looking forward to doing. it's another situation where everything in me says RUN! and this time i'm actually not going to, i'm going to go there and follow my instructions. (z says the party line is "happi- no, CHEEFUL acceptance. we're not happy about it, but we're not repressing either.")