icky

feeling emotionally icky. just kind of sludgy. bad auras around, or something. not sure what's up. it's been warm and rainy in chicago, which has been delightful- but also as brought on the springtime insomnia. i keep thinking it's friday, when it's really not. i still like my pink hair, but i'm sort of tired of it as a fashion statement- you know, like wearing the same pair of jeans everyday. my hair's just so bold, i'm used to being able to change more. it doesn't match everything, you know. things are wierd with the gf. i can't even think about anything to do with her right now, though, because she's dealing with her ex, and mention of her ex makes me start screaming and sweating and throwing things. and that woudn't do any good and it would scare the cat.

it does, however, make me apologetic about all the things i've ever said about g's bf. he's got some good qualities- same can't be said for d's ex.

see? i'm doing it again. how'd i get stuck on this topic? anyway, it doesn't matter much because everyone's annoying me these days. ch invited joe out after work today, then when he couldn't come invited me. then he invited jim, who i'm not all that fond of, but when he showed up so drunk he couldn't walk straight, i thought it was my time to go home and cook dinner.

cauliflower paprikash. standard. yummy.

this week's fiddle tune is impossible. there are no breaks or breaths anywhere. i don't think i could have learned it in class, but it seems all the more futile having missed the lesson. all i really want is the sheet music for it. i may just write it out myself in an attempt to get all the notes right. this learning by ear thing, i just can't pull it off.