one of the things i love about blogger is the way it saves my titles and i can see when i've used nother (or another, or funk, or friday) in previous posts.
so, after i typed my entry and worked so hard on my fic assignment wednesday night i (naturlich) call laura. we chat till past my bedtime, and as i'm getting my stuff ready for the next day and i realize- it's wednesday! that means, tomorrow is thursday! that means i have to turn in that assignment tomorrow!!! i need to write the last page! fuck! already so sick of it, so past my bedtime! so i have to turn the computer back on. sigh. i will never catch up on my sleep from last weekend. laura IS a bad influence on me, isn't she?
made it through lighting design, figured out my yardages in the costume shop, then the fun began. i fucking LOVE to make patterns! the act of drafting makes me feel talented and creative and useful and skilled and filled with life. it's a really simple feeling atually, but it's so large- such complete joy in what i'm doing. what would it be like to be paid to do this? it reminds me of the excitement i felt in the elevator after the meet and greet for cory & tom's movie. that feeling of excitement of creating something so big wtih so many other people, and knowing my own little part in it... it contrasts so starkly with my feelings for costuming these shows- the horror, the fear, the confusion, the ignoring of the details, the trying to forget parts i don't wanna do... so it goes. i guess i knew cory would tell me exactly what i should do, and there is no safey in the costume shop, only the sharp teeth of frances waiting to bite me from below when i fall. (i'm converting rem's out of time to mp3 while typing this, and they just sang "catch me if i fall" very apropos.")
in the patternmaking class, though. i'd "forgotten" half my supplies... all the big ones. i didn't feel like taking a whole portfolio, but i know i'll have to after this. i think i'll haul them in the mesh frieda bag from g. (WOAH! you all haven't heard about g yet! i gotta get to her next!) anyway, this really outgoing chick named jen said i could share with her. and then she's like, "are you the costume designer?" and i say i am, feeling all cool, and THEN she says, "you're name's caitlin, right?" and i'm like, hey, am i being stalked? i felt so very noticed, it's like being checked out as often as laura says i am. (does anyone else notice people checking me out? i sure haven't.) she's actually taking tom's costume construction 1 class, which meets during my workaid hours on thursday. so she's seen me racing around the shop showing renderings to patty and consulting tom about where to buy wigs. i totally felt like a rock star. well, and she would probably be totally annoying, but i was patternmaking, ain't nothin gonna faze me. it's the best fashion class i've taken so far, though i still feel about 10 years older than everyone there (when in reality it's only about 5) and, well, there's 2 black girls, a fat girl, 2 boys, and lots of brown hair. gotta like that. though i'm still the token hippie, there's a few other freaks. and everyone seems nice enough- much friendlier than my previous fashion classes.
it was starting to sprinkle, but i still stood outside and wasted too many of laura's daytime minutes, then ate thai at thai spoon. i can't make it work, to pack dinner and lunch this semester. maybe after my show. fiction writing is still fun, but so very, very much work. i don't really like the stories that my imagination is coming up with, and i feel more embarassment rather than confidence about them. but i guess the point is to develop ideas all the way into stories, rather than just discarding them and not writing anything. last week's was too boring, the feeling of a minute of christmas travel. this week's is a fantasy story that's so borrowed- part grandfather twilight, part the time traveler's wife, part sword in the stone... i have such a hard time sticking to my own ideas. if you all would be interested, i can post them, but i think fiction doesn't really fit here.
we're also required to keep a journal, and as you know i was hoping to use blog entries, but i'm not sure quite how well it will work as we're getting very specific assingments. this week it's not just another dream, but an observation, and an overheard conversation. how am i supposed to do this from the computer? i'm gonna have to get out analogblog again. sigh. i also need to do a rant... perhaps i can do it on this!
am so distracted, now. i called laura (who has company), mairee, a, mom (who talked about shopping until she got home), cound't find anyone to keep me company. i need such entertainment friday nights. sigh. i have to get some of these emails knocked out. did i tell you about z searching on craigslist personals for me? writing back to this chick is where i'm stuck. so i'm writing that, writing this, iming emily (which is making laura very nervous, which i guess i can understand, but it makes me feel a little untrustworthy- does she really think i have any good secrets to share? does she think i will share on purpose cause i'm mean or accidentally cause i'm stupid?) and of course, uploading rem. my kitchen is a mess again. i'm too tired to work though- tomorrow morning. i was supposed to have a hardworking homey weekend this week, as jamie and pi come next weekend (!!!! who thought up this timing!!! how did it come so fast?) but i think i'm going over to ch's tomorrow and pam's sunday. pam was phone call #5, the first one who could talk to me. it was funny, i of course checked the clock to see what time it was where she lived first. then i'm like, DUH! she lives at irving park and harlem! it's the same city! it's the same time zone! this is a sign my friends all live too far away.
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