18.11.05

green and pink

just a quick update before i shut down and draw my bath- tmed ch, just can't make it down there. ate dinner, didn't feel better. drank a honkin lot of midori with orange pinapple juice-i just kept pouring until it was a color i liked. it was worth it to finally make the orange pinapple juice which i've been saving for just such an occasion- i didn't wanna make the always accessable coke and vanilla vodka cause i want to sleep tonight. oh do i want to sleep. lets not even get started on the idea of learning all of the lightwrite program tomorrow. lets stick to what i can deal with: tonight. my book is too sad, too drunk to sleep, walked to jewel bought my razors. they're called daisy. they are pink. wild berry shaving cream. purple. girly. i don't think i'll use them. but i want to have them. just in case. l finally called on my walk home, thanks swmnbm. you're much kinder to me than i deserve. but she's at work now. and i'm just at home. i'm going to take a bath now. i'll type again in the morning. but am desperate for contact, am compelled to type, to call, even though i know i'm not in a state to communicate.

shut the fuck up. if you wanted company you'd be at ch's by now, watching a movie, petting his cat. stop feeling sorry for yourself. go take your fucking bath.

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