30.8.08

sex and prudes

There are so many little bits of stories i want to bring together here- i hope i can make this coheisive. Last night i said there were so many interesting articles in the utne reader, and the one i read this morning is no exception- it's about teens taking sex ed into their own hands, and some students protested CPS and wrote letters and shit and actually got comprehensive sex education here in chicago. What a concept- sex ed is so wierd because while teens are pilable, stupid, and hormone filled, they are still pretty close to being fully adult human beings. it's not like abortion, where it's easy to talk about this human/fetus/baby/fleshblob. like, did anyone ever think to ask the actual teens involved in having too much sex to early what teaching would be most helpful for them?

I'm trying to think back to my sex ed classes, and i remember them as very comprehensive. i mean, they were certainly hetrosexual focused, very pro-abstinence, pro-marriage, but i remember being glad at the time to be getting all that information about stds and birth control. And i certainly did get good information at home- my mom's calling in life was to give people depoprovera shots. i imagined her going to work and roaming the streets of reading with her syringe, talking up people in spanish so she could stab them. so she provded me with good information in a "women need to know this" sort of way, like the persuit of knowledge is always a good thing, and that way she could suspend her disbelief that it would ever be knowledge i would need to USE, that i could in any way become a woman or a sexual being.

Jump forward to present day: at the beach when we were taking photos on the lifeguard chair my cousin louise and her boyfriend started necking up there, and someone yelled "get a room!" and my aunt (her mother) yelled, "yeah- get a room! - but not in my house!!" and that got my mom going on one of her favorite rants, which she gave to another cousin. "there are some things children need to lie about. children have a RESPONSIBILITY to lie to their parents. Parents don't want to know these things about their children!" and so forth.

i went to the doctor on thursday and mentioned it to mom while we were chatting. i said i was there for my pap and std testing, and she was all taken aback. i explained that i thought it was a good idea to get tested when one gets a new girlfriend, and she was all, well, your risks aren't that high, and i almost said, what, compared with being a gay male bottom? but i decided that was inappropriate to say to one's mother, so instead i said, "i think it's just something that a good citizen just does regularly, like voting or something." and that made her laugh.

two other stories that tie in here: talked to g last night about her upcoming wedding, and i mentioned healthcare, and she talked about how tough she's having it, because she doesnt' have health insurance either, and she wants to get on the pill before the wedding. she's having a hard time finding a good clinic in san francisco, but she says she can't go to planned parenthood becuase it would be so upsetting to both her parents and her fiances. it would be all this lying and sneaking and she doesn't want her healthcare to be like that. i COULD NOT COMPREHEND this. we avoided it after that, actually because it's so touchy. like, she's who they're MADE for. women who want to be responsible and make choices about their family but don't have a lot of financial structure to do it with. they are NOT baby killers! still, who am i to judge. straight sex is so complicated- it's hard for me to comprehend the connection that sex leads to babies.

and of course, while in grand rapids lisa! and i will be staying in separate rooms, which of course is fine becuase i'm all about being respectful of one's parents, but on the other hand is illogical and frustrating not becuase i won't be able to go 36 hrs without having hot hot sex with lisa!, but because it gets FUCKING COLD in michigan at night, and if we were hiking on mt everest we would certainly share a sleeping bag to preserve body heat.

but really, REGARDLESS of whatever title or subject this entry was about, i would need to bring it back there, because I AM SO EXCITED! for my extra little vacation, my last trip of the summer. sure, there's gonna be fall and g's wedding and all that, but this is riding a train! with lisa! and a last chance to wear my handknit bikini! and ah, i'm planning on having the lovliest time.

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