24.6.10

working on it.

i know, being home all the time i should have lots of pictures for you. i have some, not as many as you'd like, but some. i'll get them captioned and up tomorrow or this weekend. check back soon!

11.6.10

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261/365
Originally uploaded by unglaubliche caitlin
finally sorta had the dream i was hoping for. there was this big christmas party at our old house on church street. mom had someone's truck and it was filled with all our stuff- like, me and meike and my fellow ennumerators for the census. Meike and amy and jon had been out all day, but it was night, and everyone was crowding into the living room for the christmas party. it was full of christmas lights and people- all over the couch, sitting behind the couch on the radiator in the big front window, by the stereo, on the steps upstairs, everywhere. Nancy Mitchell, mom's roommate from college was there and a guy in a gorilla suit, but now that i'm thinking about it i don't remember where allie was sitting. i was standing next to mom and i told her i was going to miss her so much and then i started to cry like i never did in real life with her, because she said she had enough to deal with without trying to take care of everyone else too. and she started to cry too and we just curled up in a lttle ball on the floor holding each other and crying for a while. and i was thinking how it sucks we only have a few more days together, and tomorrow i'm going to have to take time to talk to her. then i started to wake up and remember that this is always something i put off in dreams. so i told her that i love her and was going to miss her so so much, and i asked her really quick if she had any advice for my future without her, and she started talking but i couldnt hear what she was saying. so i leaned closer and then she said that though she can see the future she can't talk about it. but she would be proud of me no matter what my future looked like. then i woke the rest of the way up. i never figured out how she knew the guy in the gorilla suit.

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260/365
Originally uploaded by unglaubliche caitlin
oh, look, it's another day, another wait for the bus home from work. it's summer. there are green trees and bare shoulders. right before christmas when mom told me about her bad scans, i was sitting at this very sewing machine thinking about how mom wasn't going to live to see spring, that winter that seemed neverending for me really was the end for her. it's so wierd how the leaves die in the fall and come back in the spring and mom just stays dead. i have 4 more days left of work before i become one of the masses of underemployed. i'm worried about finding a new job, because the initial response has not been good. but i'm not worried about how i'm going to make it work without one, becaue lisa! has been amazingly kind and generous. she assures me it will all work out fine, and i choose to believe her.

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259/365
Originally uploaded by unglaubliche caitlin
I guess the reason i haven't been taking pictures is i feel i haven't been doing anything of note. i know i only go to souldier 3 days a week, but 1.5 hrs each way (and let's be realistic, i've never gotten home before 6:30) works out to 9 hours on the bus every week. lisa! lives just as far north as i do and doesn't ride that much. and she works full time! i want to write them a long bitter email about all their terrible policies and bad managment choices, to tell them what it feels like to be one of their employees. but it just seems like whining and too much work and they wouldn't listen anyway. the commute is just eaiser for everyone to grasp.

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258/365
Originally uploaded by unglaubliche caitlin
sometimes your life in the city is like the el and the the tall shiny buildings downtown all lit up by the lake. and sometimes it's like the decaying rat on the sidewalk by the bus stop. i'm going to quit my job. i've been whining about it for too long. i know i can find something else that isn't so far away and that likes it's employees better. i produce quality work and i deserve for that to be acknowleged. blech.

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257/365
Originally uploaded by unglaubliche caitlin
I know i did a lot of things wrong with my party, but i couldn't help it. i thought the guitar strap place was going to send me to a festival, so i thought i'd have another way to honor mom that weekend. my scrabble party only had one guest. and don't get me wrong, she was a GREAT guest. if i was only gonna have one guest, she's the one to pick. but still. it kinda brought me down. luckily the knitters came over on tuesday and helped eat some of my snack food.

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256/365
Originally uploaded by unglaubliche caitlin
only a week later. no, i didn't take a single picture in michigan or the week after. knit night again and another picture of the library. no earphone cord in the way this time. i like my knitters a lot. a bunch of them came over on tuesday (again, no picture, i'm warning you this week hasn't been much better) and it was very nice to have them in my house, and give them a chance to meet lisa!. friends are good.

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255/365
Originally uploaded by unglaubliche caitlin
traveling to lisa's parent's lake house for memorial day weekend in my mom's old car. i know it's 15 years old, but when the car dies too it will be like my last connection to my mom is gone. i really like riding around with lisa in that car. and it's nice to get out of the city. i've been so busy with bags and the census and everything i've been feeling overwhelmed and not very interested in taking pictures. ever since mother's day i've been down.

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254/365
Originally uploaded by unglaubliche caitlin
i'm not sure what this picture was supposed to be of, but my hand holding my rice bag purse is much more interesting than whatever it was. it's so long ago i can't remember. this bag isn't even a purse anymore, it's a laptop case for lisa's computer. i lined it with faux bunny fur and foam.

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253/365
Originally uploaded by unglaubliche caitlin
leaving knit night so late and there's still a little bit of light out! i hate this intersection though. crossing congress is always awful. on my way to ch's rock band party. because i am a two-party-on-a-friday-night kinda girl.

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252/365
Originally uploaded by unglaubliche caitlin
SO HOT! I dressed for AC in the willis tower, not for outside. but CH and i decided to go to the turkish festival after work. i guess it would have been more fun if there had been whirling dirvishes or something, but mostly it was just a couple of vendors selling evil eyes and inlaid backgammon boards. Still, CH and i had fun, and I'm glad i went cause it was advertised everywhere and if Lisa! and i are going to istambul this fall i thought at least one of us should make it there.