and a meme for good luck...

tagged by cecilia, i thought i'd give you a bit of introspection to chew on before i'm gone:

What I was doing ten years ago:

getting ready to start high school. i decided i was going to be radical, which at the time meant wearing "fest" clothes (the hippie dress as seen at the philadelphia folk festival) in real life. i was going to band camp, and starting to crush on a soon to be sophmore, jeff. i was planning see you at the pole, a prayer rally at the begining of the school year- i was very involved in the southern baptist youth group. i was very lonely, pretty depressed, and wrote terrible poetry.

5 years ago:

i was finishing up my term at su casa, my year of living and working in a homeless shelter. ("providing transitional shelter to homeless latino families") i was feeling my character building experience had been about as much as i could go through, and was ready to move on to the next thing. conversely (perversely?) i was finally realizing what my role was at su casa and was considering another term of service, but decided it wouldn't be worth it to continue on without ruth. i had an unhealthy obsession with her, and depended on her to keep me sane and stable in chicago. i was not prepared to consider life here without her, so instead i focused all my energy on learning german, and preparing my grand european tour which was october-december of 2000. i was looking for escape and running away.

1 year ago:

looked back at my blog entries, it seems like it wasn't so long ago. very familiar feelings: i was hating marty and terrified of my mother's wedding, angry at my mother for emotionally dissapearing, struggling with my desire for g and coming out to all sorts of people, and crushed and desolate at the news that mairee would not be returning to chicago. august was my month off from blogging- i didn't start getting comments until october. also last year at this time, i was planning to go to the beach for the family reunion. i hadn't been in ages, and was very nervous about it. the end of my "100 things unglaubliche history" pretty much sums it up: 96. i vist pa as my mother is moving in with marty. I discover i am much fonder of her house than i had previously supposed. 97. Marty manages to insult me, amy, and ch in less than 24 hours. Many tears are shed and many drops of remedies are taken. 98. I go to the beach with my dad’s side of the family and discover i like them much more than i had previously supposed. a, my vegan anarchist second cousin once removed (kristy) and i get pretty smashed at a leather bar on rehoboth ave. 99. z. and i meet again and are very sisterly. we give each other a second chance and become rather close.


was bored at work, charmed by ch, had my head in a book, and was contimplating heady thoughts about vintage cooking and lesbianism. or was just bored, hungry and horny. still trying to figure out which. thought about how i should pack for the beach. haven't done it yet. leave tomorrow.

5 snacks I enjoy:

ice cream
cool ranch doritos
chex mix

5 songs I know all the words to :

All i want (joni mitchell)
latter days (over the rhine)
moses (patty griffin)
love, salvation fear of death ( sixpence none the richer)
ash wednesday (the nields) {i mean, i know all the words to others, too, but this is the show offy one] {i just sang it to myself to prove it, but i forgot the "quitting smoking is a must" verse. i know all the words, though, just can't always remember the order....}

5 Things I would do with $100 million:

give out a million micro loans to women starting businesses in third world countries
donate alex sanchez, nancy garden, and francesca lia block books to every library that any teen has access to
have studios in berlin, chicago, new york, london, and LA
buy out rafael and free ch from financial flowershop worry
create a national train system that is fast, functional, and financially self-sustaining

5 locations I would like to run away to:

new zealand

5 bad habits I have:

talking too much about myself
selfishness / self-centeredness
fiddling with my hair and ears
running late
not showering or doing dishes often enough

5 things I like doing:

listening to music

5 things I would never wear:

i would wear just about anything in the proper context.

i would avoid:
high cut bikini bottoms
tube tops
empire waist cuts

5 TV shows I like:

i don't own a tv, i don't watch tv. sometimes i'll get simpsons on dvd. that's it, though.

5 Biggest joys of the moment:

deep windowsills, plants, comfy chair with big pillows, table lamps, all by my new balcony
commuting on the redline
the long list of books to read stored on my ipod. and the subsequent checking out from the library and reading of aformentioned books
not having to go to school

5 Favorite toys:

record player
cell phone
slr camera

Now I'm Tagging:
memes come here, to die, too.
jamie? justine? a? wanna start your blog with a meme? anyone? i've just not had good meme response.

general frustration

ch was moody today cause he had to go to the dentist after work, and cause i'm off now for over 2 weeks. it was slow- july sucks in the flower shop. i've been staying up too late reading- it's made me tired all the time. and fucking hungry. i wanted to snack all day today, but coudn't think of anything i wanted badly enough to dish out sears tower prices. ate an embarrasing number of ch's combos, though. came home and had to cook up the last of the vegtables- grandma's tomato cabbage stir fry. why did i think this would be any good? its very humble vegetables, seasoned by dill, salt, and margarine. i improved it considerably by adding a bit of carrot, the end of the zuchini (horray!) garlic, basil, a dash of nutmeg and paprika. still, it's not a meal. it's best on a pita with spagetti sauce covered in melted mozzarella. a boring stir fry makes a phenominal pizza topping! unfortunately, i don't think it's possible to eat it all in the 20 or so hours before i leave. i'm too tired to do anything useful, like do the dishes, take out the trash, PACK for godssake. good thing i have tomorrow morning free. still, i think it's gonna be quite a crazy rush.

i'll probably get one more entry in tomorrow, then it will be off to the beach for me. i will DEFINATELY post in the 24 hrs. i'm home between the beach and the womyn's music festival, but i know that there is no electricity there, let alone internet access. so unless someone wants to guest blog or something, it'll be a bit sparce around here for a few weeks. don't worry though, the analog blog will be kept and all thoughts, feelings, and day to day activities will be eventually posted!


side note

hey people, thanks for your fabulous high quality comments. have you all been bored and just surfing, or have i been writing above average entries? cause ya'll have been good to me, better than i deserve i think (but perhaps it just balances out the times when i write what i think's a great post and no one comments. but for all the whining i usally do, i think it's time to say: thank you, thank you, thank you.


my days are so boring, any excitement that happens has to be in my head. work is slow, slow, slow. this past week has been better than the rest of the week, but after lunch there seems to be nothing to do. ch had paperwork today, and so i couldnt' even sit in my chair and read old magazines (cause he was sitting in it to do his paperwork). so i was playing with the pens on the front counter, and he taught me how to take them apart and use the springs to send pieces flying everywhere. i amused myself for quite some time with this. i put all the pens back together eventually, and threw away the one that didn't work. he discovered the ring that screws between the top half and the bottom half of one of the pens, and was worried that it came from one of the pens i took apart- but i assured him it was from the one that was thrown away. so what does he do? (or perhaps a more appropriate retorical question would be, does a customer walk in? does the phone ring? no.) he gets a pair of clippers, snips a clip in the ring, and bends it onto his nose. so now he has a nosering too. it was so funny, i was like, i wish i had a camera phone. and he says, well i do. i tried to take a pic of him with it, but it didn't turn out well. so, he took a self portrait. upon seeing it, i told him he HAD to send it to me to post here, and i didn't think he would, but he did! here it is!

after work today i went to target to try and buy risk. they were all sold out, except for an attack of the clones verson. thank you but no. where does one by a boardgame? i wish i still lived in hyde park, i'd go to toys etcetera. so i came home, made spicy sweet potato coconut soup. it's a little too spicy for me- it called for a tablespoon of red curry paste, and i being dubious put in a heaping teaspoon, but that was still way too much. i hope it doesn't get worse by tomorrow. does anyone know if i can make it milder somehow? today's album in the kitchen was melissa etheridge's first one.

that's kinda how my contimplating goes. i'm reading a lesbian romance from the 70s right now, along with the nonfiction tome lesbian/woman first published in 1972. the world is so different then- its barely relateable to my experience. it makes me feel almost guilty for having such a hard time coming out, knowing that society is so much more open and accepting of different lifestyles. i'm sure if i was comming out then, i would just hide- i could be a happily married housefrau popping out babies. but i think i say this just cause i've never really been in love. it seems once that happens, one's sexuality is much harder to deny. still, i can't seem to walk into the gerber/hart library. i don't know what i'm embarrassed of- i don't really care what my fellow train riders think. maybe the librarian being unhelpful, giving me a degrading stare? i have planned exactly what i'm going to say;" hi, i'm caitlin, i just moved into the neighborhood, i'm starting to come out, i love libraries, and i am so excited to walk by you every day. i was wondering if you could tell me what sort of resources i have here?" and smile a charming smile.

but i continue to hurry past- i have dinner to cook, i checked these books out of the library- isn't that out enough for this week? the conversation in my head's just crazy. the librarians at the public library NEVER look at my books, except for occasionally in the children's library. sometimes it upsets me- i would love to surmise about people by the books they check out, i would totally talk over the ones i'd read... but they never do, yet somehow, i'm SURE they're going to, or at least look at the book, then look at me, then wiggle their eyebrows, the day i check the enormous lesbian/woman out. she didn't. of course.

i'm so confused- all i do is read. i go back and forth, thinking that though i feel this way in my head, no one else will believe me... or thinking that everyone's out to get me, they're going to see the way i slow down as i walk past the gerber/hart and tell hitler, senator mccarthy, and my grandmother. (stacy made me realize how much i talk about my grandma when i talk about my sexuality. i wonder what she'd think if she knew how involved she was?) i do need to go in one day, find out what my resources are. i still feel iike i'm the only one- everyone else comes out in high school, when the fall in love, after they're married and have lived a "normal" life... and i know that this is an annoying and cocky additude, thinking others struggles are better than mine. i just gotta find them. i wouldn't go back to being a teenager for ANYTHING, but it hurts a bit to see the age cutoffs for their groups so low. but then i have to remember, the idea is that they have somewhere to go besides bars, as they're underage. and i do go to bars, gay bars, lots of them. i just wish, i don't know. for a place for adult lesbians to go and play board games and figure themselves out.

i'll even contribute, but i'll have to bring vintage clue- target was sold out of risk.


beach list

i can't help but post this email i got from my dad, regarding the trip to the beach. he seems so well planned. i think i'll have a good time. the only problem is what book to bring: the really fun ones i've checked out, the ones i want to read most are the lesbian ones, and i don' think i'll be taking those along to the beach with me. my cousin sarah has no problem reading erotica in front of, say, great aunt jeanne, but i don' t think i can pull it off. anyway, without further ado:

>> i don't think I have risk, but I'll look. Do you
want to go Eco Kayaking some morning? (Just added your
name to the letter Billy... Are you interested?) I
thought we'd go maybe tue morning.
Also things to make sure we do (any suggestions)
See the sunset over Rehoboth Bay at Savage Ditch

I was going back and forth which car I'll be taking
but that decsion was made for me the Golf gets
inspected next mon so I'll be bringing my fat tire
bike, so Caitlin, if you have room pack your helmut
and gloves and pants, and we'll rent and ride some
morning too.

Here's what I'm packing so you don't have to:
one sleeping bag (Not sure the total of beds)
sheets, pillow cases
bath towels
beach towels
beach umbrella
3 beach chairs
speaker system

Here's menu
SUN night
Spagetti and (Cait-Mushrooms Billy-Sausage)
MON night
Ellen & pop-pops
Rehoboth meal / meatloaf (or Veggie burgers) & bald headed
Pasta Premavera
Eggplant Parmesan
OUT to eat (Caitlin's choice)
Pizza party (Grottos) @ Pop-pops
NOTE Refrigerated 3 Musketters for GOOD eaters

want anything else to come or do let me know

more zuchini

work today, first time in forever, it feels like. i was stupid and forgot a sweater and just froze in the air conditioning. after work i went to the library- it was POURING when i left the sears tower. i'm really glad the heat wave is breaking, but it didn't warm me up. i stepped in a big puddle crossing jackson, and my sandals just about slipped off walking to the library. sigh. and the train was of course so air conditioned. when it's a zillion degrees, do i ever get the airconditioned car?
when i got home i was hungry, but i knew i had to cook. why didn't someone tell me when i went grocery shopping on saturday that i'd only be in chicago for 6 more days??? but i put on records, and it all went away. my new player ROCKS, though the arm isn't automatic, which takes some getting used to. and there's still the reciever problems- namely, the auxillary audio connection in the back sucks, so every time you open or close the fridge door (or even look at it too hard) it crackles off. and you have to wiggle the cords or tap the stereo. but it was still worth it- listened to kim richey's rise, al stewart's year of the cat, and everything but the girl's language of love. i grated up amost all of the rest of stacy's zuchinni and made zuchini feta pancakes, which are really yummy with some yogurt and the beet salad. whenever i'm wearing vintage clothing, listening to records, and cooking out of the moosewood cookbook (which, actually, happens more than one would think), i imagine myself in another time. there are so many aspects of me that i think would thrive in the 70s, i was born a little late. i often have this odd feeling of nostalgia, of straining for memories that i see in movies or read about in books but have never really experienced myself. it's like the first time i went to new york city- all these memories i have from other things, other people, but they're really just from my imagination (though i can now travel to nyc and there's nothing i can do about being alive in the 60s or 70s. and i know there are people who really live their lives as if they are in the 60s or whatever, with cateye glasses and tvs with bunny ear antennae. but knowing what i know about the future, i'm not ready to give up my instant communication. my cell phone, my text messaging, my computer, my email... how did people live without answering machines? and though i love records, i would still at least need cassette tapes, so that making mixes would be a possibility. i love pearl, but she is superfluous. (and have i told you all about my music magic mixer software yet?) the mix, however, as an art form, is a necessity. life without the mix is like life without cheese, without wheat, without books.


pack horse

i tried to get errands and such done today. made some phone calls, etc. then the dragging began:

i took the bag of old clothes to the brown elephant. i walked from there to belmont where the record player store is, to try and get a new stylus (they didn't have my style, they said they'd have to replace the whole cartridge) and then took the train to north and clyborn, where i walked to crate &barrel outlet and bought a rug 5ft x8ft. and drug it back to the subway. and drug it from the el to my house. oh yeah.

at this point i ate lunch, but decided i hadn't worked hard enough yet, so i put my old record player in a bag and drug it back to the record player store. they said there was no way to get a cartridge that old, i should just buy a new player. so i did. i left the old one there, and drug the new one back home.

it's still too hot to cook, so once i set up the new record player i made more salads. (the sound is SO Much better. i need a new reciever now, my record player is so rockin! it was so good to finally listen to eurhythmics again [how i've been suffering] and get my first listen in on ladies of the canyon which a. brought me.) so i still had edamame and corn salad, odessa beets, and marinated cauliflower and carrots left. i made a little purple cabbage coleslaw, and then sliced up a tomato, put slices of fresh mozzarella on it, basil from the balcony, a bit of balsamic vinegar- yum! i am transported back to germany.

at this point i realized the major list item i had not yet accomplished- la lavendaría. so i piled all my clothes in their basket, and hauled them off to the laundrymat. ugh. the washers are huge- it was good to wait so long. and $1.50! i totally will need to keep collecting quarters. i thought it was only 25cents to dry, which was going to make me really angry, but then a sign said that 25c gets you 8.5 minutes. so that made me feel better. i wonder if i should have fluffed them a bit, though, cause they were REALLY heavy to carry home. it had thunderstormed while i was there, and was drizzling as i lugged my big bag home. it's lovely though- all my dresses are hanging out on the back porch on the clothesline!

but really, how much of this pain could have been alieviated with just a few bungee cords and the unlocking of my bicycle?


nosy neighbors

not that i'm nearly as nosy as my mom and grandma, but i try to be observant! the downstairs neighbors in 1e have always interested me, as they have a beautiful mat outside their door, usally with sneakers on it. i have always wondered who owned that mat, and then when jen and i were bringing in my ikea furnature last week, we saw a lady with her dog "annie" come in. i wished i had gotten a chance to talk to her, but i was holding large furnature. i've heard her calling annie out the back sometimes. i've also heard music in the alley out my kitchen windows. their was some aweful top 40 stuff with the tree guys cutting branches and singing along earlier this week, and always loud nasty hiphop. but the other day there was something very familiar playing, i could almost sing along- i think it was cheryl crow.

the next info i got from my neighbors was on their door buzzer- 2 names, amelia and another girl. i wonder if the east apartments are 1bedrooms or studios. are they roommates? lovers? i'm sorry, maybe this is stuck up rich american of me, but you gotta be REALLY poor to live in a studio with someone you're not in love with.

today, i was sitting at my kitchen table eating picnic leftovers (very successful, thank you very much) and more music drifts in my window- "i am on a lonely road and i am traveling, traveling traveling..." i sing along to all i want, wondering if it's the radio or a mix. nope- it's all of blue. i go out on the back porch, it's really loud, and i can tell it's comming from good ol 1e. i decide now would be the perfect time to oil my wood on the back deck. after blue, they put on old mary chapin carpenter. not my fave, but ok... but then i heard their guest leave, and they turned off the music and turned on the tv. boo!

if i get any more neighbor gossip, i'll let you know!



was SO LAZY this morning. last night i thought i'd run my disk doctor software to see if i could figure out why my keyboard was switching so randomly. well, it was a terrible mess, took years to run, crashed halfway through, and i couldn't change my startup disk back to my harddrive!!! i tried all the keyboard shortcuts i could think of... i wished for the old imacs, where you could just stick a paper clip in them and the tray popped out. eventually called tech support this morning- they said i should restart holding down the mouse- look at that! it pops the cd out! who knew!
wasted even more time trying unsuccessfuly to get my apple mail acct. set up.
wasted even more time finishing my book. reading born confused again. really love it. realized i haven't changed my template quotes or lists since may. no one seems to mind, though.

anyway, when i FINALLY got moving, i got soemthing done. went to the grocery store, armed with my list of zuchini recipies. the health food store was open, so i stopped there first. local and quaint, but certainly doesn't fill all my needs. while i was in dominicks, jen called and invited me on a picnic tomorrow. since i had such big food plans, i said we should pack rather than do take away. so i came home and cooked- odessa beets (stacy was right!), marinated cauliflower and carrots, corn and edamame salad, and zuchini crusted pizza. i cooked up some peppermint tea (unfortunately with boiled water and peppermint teabags, maybe someday i'll do my own in the sun) and will blend up some watermellon lemonade in the morning. do i sound prepared?

i finally hung up the bar in the kitchen- it looks really good. and the posters in the bathroom. i'm almost done with posters, just 2 more left on the back of the closet door, i think. i really hate the textured paint in the bathroom, though. we'll see how long it takes me to get everything to stick. the humid summertime is not when to worry about that.

as i was starting my shower this morning, the cold water stopped, so i never got a chance to wash my hair. it itches- i'm going to take a bath now.


home again

something strange is going on with my computer... it keeps jumping back to the german keyboard, no matter how many times i change it to american. it´s hard to type in english on a german keyboard- it makes one´s left pinky hurt. viellicht i should just type in german... nah.

wasted so much time this morning. talked to ch, which was fabulous. i have missed him. esp. being in his home town, with his best friend. i was able to talk co with him, but i had to get these damn drawings done. i was gonna go out and swatch after that, but i didn´t get a chance to. the set designer had her model done. frances was there. but i wasn´t intimidated, it seemed to be going well, i feel on track, i just need to get some swatches together. and do my plot. those can get done this weekend.

i wanted to give ch his gifts (a bday gift from stacy and the rubber chicken from casa bonita from me) and i had things to drop off at the post office, so i went down to the sears tower. ch was so glad to see me! we went out for margaritas after work and chatted for over 2 hrs. then we took the train home together. it´s so charming we both live north!

but now it´s 8:30 and i still need to eat dinner. do you think amy´s broccoli stuff from last week is still good? i hope so. i have to go grocery shopping tomorrow so i can cook up all this zuchinni. and i have to buy screws for all my ikea purchases. blah blah blah. back to life as normal.

the end of the trip

so, after wasting all wendsday afternoon napping and blogging, we headed to south boulder (this is a and i) to check out the new place. it's the END of boulder- the last culdusac south, with a wide open field to the south, and to the west there is a big dog park and then the flatirons. (the path starts here, 5 hr. hike to the top) the dog is hendrix, a charming black lab. there is apparently also a cat named marley, who doesn't deign to meet the new roomie. the place has a huge kitchen, charming living room, and 3 small bedrooms downstairs. the roomates, well, they don't seem to fit any stereotypes. a had been saying all week, every time we saw a guy, "that could be my potential roommate!" they're not stoners or partiers or painfully shy geeks. they are snowboarders, straight, very tidy. they spent hours (literally!) telling us how wonderful boulder is. i tried to make myself useful, get in the important questions, incense burning, door locking, pest problems, things that i knew a would want to know. i'm glad she got good vibes from them too- we were pretty euphoric back to broomfield. we called nate and he said he wouldn't be home till later, so we went to boulder and i saw the co-op, and we walked down pearl street. very hippy-dippy, totally boulder-esque. i can see all that ch says about the place, but i also think it will be a good place for a. unfortunately, my contacts were killing me, and i was really tired, as it was late, so we went on back to nate's.

i need to be more greatful to nate for so graciously offering up his floor to me on such short notice and such feeble connections, but i was SO frustrated with him this morning. he did his basic morning-routine-that-wakes-everyone-up thing, sitting in his chair, eating his breakfast, talking to a asleep on the couch. and what does he tell her? that he doesn't have to be in on time, and he's going back to bed for 20 min! a and i are like, right, thanks, we appriciate you waking us up for this info. so we cut another inch off her hair while waiting. it's perfect now, i did a good job. will hopefully be able to post pics soon. i'm almost afraid to mail away this roll, though, ever since the last one got lost. i called stacy twice with later and later times for us to meet, but eventually nate did take me to the walnut cafe. stacy and i were both really hungry, so we got big breakfasts and were sad that we couldn't finish them. it was much too hot to take them with, though- record settng temps in colorado, over 100 degrees every day. we walked to her fave used book store, and both spent way too much time and money. fun though! i got a jostein gaarder children's book i'd never heard of, a live coal in the sea by ml'e, and an original vegetarian epicure vol.2. the recipies looked better than the first one. after that we drove around ch's old neigborhood, and stacy pointed out the house he used to live in on marion. then we went to the library, a lovely place, as all libraries are. this one is as fun on the inside as on the outside- designed by michael graves- you know, the guy who does all that design for target? after that, we went back to stacy's house, as it was too hot to do anything else. the car temp. held at 108- that's what, 42 degrees celcious? dude, that's HOT! her poor dogs. we were lazy, just hanging around. she was exited by the sound of my odessa beet salad, and so she pulled some beets from the garden, got out her sun oven and cooked them. we went to the lil general store for pineapple. i felt like it was a winner. she picked a HUGE zuchini from the garden for me- i'll be eating it all week, i'm sure.

it was a bit of a farce at the airport- i've got all these little bags. once through security and i'd found my gate (i was there 40 min. before boarding- i did NOT need to get there that early) i rearranged my stuff to fit mostly in my backpack, with a rice bag for a purse, and it in a plastic bag with my camera and this enormous zuchinni that doesn't fit anywhere. sigh. it was fine. i just put my nose in my utne reader, and when i was done with that, my book. put my zuchini under the seat in front of me.

i have all these phrases written in my blogging notebook, these combinations of words to remind me of the stream of conciousness blog entry i was composing as i was leaving the airport. i was trying to gauge the weather as i was walking through to my gate, but i couldn't quite. but as soon as you leave the airport's air conditioning, the air hits you like a wall. i could feel the humid air coating my chapped lungs as i walked to the train. the thickness of the air here, compared to boulder, is incredible. there, the sun bakes all the air away, you can feel the uv rays going directly into your skin, with nothing between you and the sun to protect it. (did i mention when i opened my saline bottle upon arrival in co, it let off a preasureized hiss? it's creepy, i think, to drive all that altitude.) here, the air is tangible, you wonder why you can't see it, it feels like something you shouldn't be able to breathe, like the oft quoted pea soup- it feels like living in a cloud, this is what angels breathe.

still processing my trip- i mean really, i just got home an hour ago, max. my biggest impression of the boulder/denver area was the suburbia feel of it. nate lived in a suburb, stacy lived in a suburb- it's a frustrating lifestyle to me. of course, every thing anyone ever says has to begin with how it's smack dab up against the omnipresent mountains. every time we turned a corner and were heading west they where there- always surprising me, and i exclaimed "look! there's the mountains again!" . i think i think of them as weather sort of phenomenon, like a rainbow or the cycles of the moon- something more fleeting. and for me they are. but a and stacy wake up every morning and look out the window, and if it's clear, can see the mountains. but beyond that it seemed all big houses and fancy stores to me. denver is gritty urbania, and stacy's suburb is charming, but still- i spent a fucking huge amount of time in people's cars. and this is a big problem for me- i have a hard time in a place i have to be shuttled around. i hate having no transport of my own. i hate relying on the willingness of others to brave traffic. i wanna be free. this independence was my other issue with my trip. i'm so used to planning by myself, it's sometimes hard to take other's plans into account. and i communicate so very, very differently to stacy and a- i think they were both slightly shafted by my failure to plan or communicate well. it fact, with all these problems, i think it's amazing i had such a very good time, and they both still like me.

it was nice to fly over the city lights. to take off in the blazing desert of colorado and to land in the humid city- it's another world. i am comfortable here, this is my place, my city, my home. i revel in the fact that i am urban, that riding the subway is not the begining of my vacation but the begining of the rest of my life. and i still have this apartment i'm getting used to (three weeks tomorrow!) to be newness in my life. i was a little jelous of a, being selfcenteredly anxious about all the major changes that are happining, to all of a sudden find yourself in the city of your dreams with your car packed full of your stuff, realizing that now that you're here you have to create the life of your dreams. i want to go to a new place, the place for me, and start from scratch creating a perfect life. but i was glad for it to be a vacation for me. usally, one doesn't want to get on the plane and have the vacation be over, and go back to boring normal life. but i would be so full of fear at starting so completely new. i was glad i got to leave the job hunts and couch sleeping behind and return to my stable, boring life.

and really, it's not boring at all right now. have this HUGE play meeting hanging over my head tomorrow, which i haven't done a THING for- so fucking unprepared it's embarrassing. plus, an inbox full of messages for plans for upcoming vacations. who's mz thang now?


and now for today

ah, so charming. i woke up, stacy made me a fancy blend of tea, we ate toast and peaches out on the back porch while she got her watering done. i fed my crusts to coco, max, and stinky. was so nice just to chill out and be so peaceful. she's got a beautiful garden. a huge vegetable patch, a little green house, a red barn, a bird feeder surrounded by a white picket fence to keep the dogs out, a cooking herb garden and a medicinal herb garden. i felt like a lazy ass just sitting there, but it was good for my soul.

i was gonna bring my docs, but i forgot to change shoes at the last minute and ended up bringing my foam flipflops instead. so hiking was out for me, but i wanted to see the mountains if i was in denver, so stacy drove me (in her little hybrid car) up to idaho springs. the mountains are amazing. i waxed so poetic about them three posts ago, but they are lost, never to be found again. but it was something like: i don't know how these land forms can share the same name mountains with the soft green appalachains of my childhood. they are so huge and red and raw, and when i think mountain, i think big and green and soft, flufflily tree covered, mossy. the rockys are endless, and jagged. their natural edges are like where the appalachians have been dynamited to make road ways. the mountains of my childhood were so old and steady in their looming, the rockies are rough and tumble. they too have trees, but they too are jagged and spiky in this desert land. i asked stacy and she says the aspens are deciduous and turn golden in autumn, but all i could see where the pointy evergreens. it's so dry. pennsylvania is always humid, so the dryness of chicago's winters was a shock to me when i moved here. but this moistureless heat is something i've never felt before. i've never needed chapstick before in the summer. even though there are record setting highs, i can't quite mind it, because it's so easy to breathe. there is none of that water that clogs one's lungs in chicago or pa. you can feel the sun just beating down on you. i don't mind the high altitude- i haven't felt sick or lightheaded. but the clearness of it all makes me feel closer to the sun- the rays have so little distance to travel to my skin. glad my lotion is working so far. the sky is huge here. and the mountains are everywhere you go. just on the west, though. they're enourmously gigantic, looming over the city, but just being on one side makes them somehow less opressive than the hills of pa always looking down on me.

after that stacy and i went down to denver to watercourse foods for lunch. yummy vegetarian- stacy and i can talk alot about food, even though she eats meat now. i can't begrudge her. the world doesn't need to be vegetarian every meal in my mind, just open minded about it. we stopped back home so she could change for lunch and i could gather my stuff. we called charles and gossiped with him. again, it was fun to hear the other side of the conversation- i'm so used to hearing ch's half, and now i get to hear stacy's. and then, i talked to him, and instead of me listening to them, it's her listening to us. i wish ch could come and show me around here. but we'll never be able to vacation at the same time as long as i work there. it's sad- i want all my friends to know and love each other, to all be together in the same place. the world is just too darn big, and my heart is stretched to so many different places.

a sounded a mess on the phone, so i was in a hurry to get back to nates, but she's fine, just anxious and tired. she was trying to nap, so that's how i got all this time to blog. but then i've had all these problems posting. so it's taken me her whole nap. but i'll hopefully be able to update as soon as i've lived more life!

stacy take three

i don't know what's wrong. my posts keep disappearing. i'm going to try this one more time, and if it doesn't work, i'm waiting to post till i get home. it keeps deleting everything i type. or it will post without me asking to, and then it won't load. i've written pages and pages, such beautiful stuff, and now they're just words floating out in the universe.

so about stacy. nate's suburb is this enormous gated community, huge new buildings that all look exactly the same. it's more like jail than home. so i was worried about stacy's, but she and julie have a cute little place. all the houses are unpretentious 50s ranch styles, all different and charming. the dogs, max, coco, and stinky are all as loud as they are on the answering machine, but they're good dogs. they have a piano, which makes me jelous, and there are these vintage advertisments hanging everywhere- they're totally cool. they just built a back porch, and that's where we sat and drank our tea from the mint in stacy's garden.

a was pretty stressed with the driving, but stacy totally charmed her and she decided to go to casa bonita with us.

and let me tell you, anything you've heard about casa bonita, it's true.

can i just say cliff divers. jumping down 3 stories into the pool. i already typed about the crazy crazy restaurant, the most exciting restaurant in the world, three times. the food's horrible. the atmosphere's amazing. we played skeeball, i got a little rubber chicken for ch. we gave away our extra tickets to little kids- makes ya feel warm inside, hey?

a went home then, she had nate's only key, but stacy and i went to the detour in denver. rumour has it it has turned into quite a dive, but they must have redone the place, because i thought it was quite nice. much nicer than some of the places ch takes me! i forgot to bring my phone charger with me, so i'm trying to keep my usage down, but i've been texting ch. i told him we were going there, and he typed back "hope you have a dental dam" i wrote "stacy says they don't make them anymore" and he said, "no one told the michican womyn's festival!" at that i got out stacy's cell phone, and left a threatining message, but there was no new word from him. any way, the bar was fine, good people watching, hot bartender i wish i could've flirted with, etc.

it was really great to talk with stacy- she tells me all the stories from a different point of view, or she tells me the stories ch doesn't. giggle. it's really awesome too, she loves him so much. i'm glad she's interested in what i think of ch, of jack. it's so great to talk to someone about ch who knows him even more than i do. i feel like i'm her spy in chicago, keeping an eye on him, picking up the pieces if it's needed. i'm like the little tag on his ankle, letting her know where he is and that he's ok when he flys off? maybe? i don't know, but i wanna be in that circle. if they're friends with joe, they should both be friends with me. i'm much more charming than he is.

soon i'll be posting about today, but now that i've made it through all of yesterday, i want to put this up before something ELSE disasterous happens to it. seriously- i've been typing for over an hour.


where was i? that's right, driving into colorado. it was amazing how the flat green farmland of nebraska turned into the desert, bam. it was a really hazy day, so we were so close to the city before we saw mountains, and even then they were just sillioettes. a was so excited. i don't feel quite as strongly about mountains as she does, but they were impressive. we went up to her massage school, and she was going to get information from them, but was feeling too overwhelmed, so we went straight to broomfield where her friend nate lives. we stopped at safeway and bought some veggies, and then made a delicious minestrone in his kitchen. it was a bit of an adventure, as his roommate is moving out and there were no kitchen supplies, but we had fun- i can't remember the last time a and i cooked together, usally we cook for each other. nate's fun, i think he'd be a good friend to have, i'm glad he's here in boulder with a. we sat out on his balcony and ate our soup and drank the wine. enjoyed the lovely boulder evening. perhaps it's because i'm not seeing it on clearcandydaily, but the moon seems to be growing phenominally. does it always wax this fast? talking about waxing, a's set up her new blog, waxing / waning. i don't think it's up yet, as she's not posted, but stay tuned. i'm excited to hear about her new life online, as she's such a faithful reader of mine. anyway, after dinner we walked to walmart and bought her an airpump and me aloe for my sunburn (why do i try and leave homewithout it?) we blew up her airmattress and it was a lovely bed for me. am so glad i can stay at nates. it'd be scary otherwise. no, i'm sure it would all work out. this is just convinient, that's all. the next morning a and i went to celestial seasonings, and ate lunch in the cafe and took the factory tour and did the tea tasting and walked through the herb garden- it was totally cute. a little corporate and kitchy, but still, i'm totally charmed. i do like celestial seasonings teas. if i lived here, i would totally take my grandma. and i love their artwork. the art gallery was the best part- the originals of all their box artwork. next time i come, i'm going to have to save room in my suitcase for souvinirs. also there is a little prarie dog habitat they've made. they're crazy little creatures, running around, popping out of their holes. stacy says they keep them as pets in japan. she says the chirping noise they make sounds like they're saying, "fuck you, fuck you!" as they pop in and out of their holes. i think i'm going to make a new entry to tell you about my time with stacy.


blogging from colorado!

amy and i have gotten here! we spent a night in lincoln, ne. traffic was bad getting out of chicagoland, and it stressed a out, but then illiois was flat and we were so charmed by iowa.

it's a terribly boring drive, but a really helped me appriciate the changing landscape. as soon as we crossed the mississippi, the rolling hills of iowa started, and as soon as we crossed into nebraska, it was flat farmland again. the night at the hostel was terrible- so very hot and humid, with the air not moving, and very windy- a storm was brewing.


off to colorado!

so after the lame past few nights out, we had a rockin time at ch's party last night!

our pride rainbow striped jello shots were a big hit! g and a spent some time together, i gotta love that. i got to meet krisin, the flowershop's crazy accountant from va. (don't ask why our accountant is in va!) it was all lots of fun, ch has such an odd assortment of friends, it makes for such a good party. unfortunately, his new place is set up for smaller groups, so their were a few people in the kitchen, a few in the living room, and a few on the balcony, and it wasn't until it got really late that we all hung together. i was all into the cactus juice cocktails, but i guess i drank enough water, because i don't feel bad this morning, no more than the average tired, anyway.
amy's picking up her car from ch's neighborhood, now.

i'm eating breakfast and packing. we'll be leaving for the mountains soon! i'm really excited. ("well, excited AND scared") hope all will go well with stacy. i've finally realized it's gonna happen and have been making schedules and plans. horray for plans!

amy got us beds at the hostel in lincoln, nebraska, and their curfew's 11, so we have a timetable to keep= though hopefully we'll get there before that. we have good music and snaks- it should be fun. i'm sure i won't see another computer until i come home, but don't worry- i'll be taking my litttle lil german notebook with me so i can analog blog the whole time. they'll be retyped and posted here before you know it, all ready for your comments!


ikea photos!

as promised!
here is me cooking my ikea map

and here is me with the beloved mammut wardrobe. if i lived in germany and didn't have closets, i would SOO have a mammut wardrobe! and the cute flower hamper- who could not love ikea?

party prep

no time to post anymore. a and i went shopping after work yesterday, american apparel, voges haut-chocolat for a gift for stacy, and virgin for a gift for ch. then we came home, ate dinner, assembled my cupbord, put the drawers in it, cut amy's hair, put on makeup, and went out. we need to take a picture of amy's new haircut. it's really awesome, i think i did a good job.
anyway, ch and i have always made fun of this ad in the glbt section of timeoutchicago of cromium's femistry fridays, but i'd always wanted to go, so a and i did. it was a cool place, but a million miles away, and EMPTY. the music was too loud to talk, and it was this huge funky club, 2 stories, and about 20 people there. if that. we were the only white girls. no one was dancing. there were about 3 people wanting to, moving, but no one really did. it was really awkward, an example of the situation i hate being with a in, i just wanted to finish my drink and go. it was on the west side, which i don't know, and seems, empty, industrial, unsafe, unfriendly to me. i didn't know what we should do after that, and a said, whatever, but everything i suggested was shot down.
a's back with the jello! gotta go make shots now!


bad mango

so wednesday i was to meet ch for the shannon macnally concert. well, on my way there he called and said she didn't start until 10.15, not 8 like his ticket said! so we went to the closet for a few drinks to decide what to do. i was all ready to go, with or without him, but as the night progressed, i gradually felt worse and worse. i think the mango in my black beans and rice with mango was bad. we walked back to the train, and i felt awful, and when ch said we should have a nightcap since we weren't going to the concert, i was gonna say no, but then he said we should go to the berlin... how could i say no?

i've never been to the berlin before, and i've always wanted to. there are so many stories. it's where cory and tom met. lance and ch used to watch movies there on weeknights. on christmas evil, it's the gay discoteque that ruth and daniel went dancing at, where the joke of her being trisexual started. it was small and quiet on thursday night, they were playing a movie. ch said it was good girls, but then he was having trouble explaining who the characters were. then all of a sudden, he realized, it was office space! and we were right on time for the big flair standoff! horray!

felt AWFUL on the train ride home, was afraid it was the stomach flu. but yesterday morning i woke up feeling fine.i got all the boxes in my closet unpacked before amy came. she and i had a test road trip out to ikea. (it went well, i guess i'll go the whole way to denver with her!) it was fun, esp. with her digital camera. as soon as i get home i'll see if i can hook it up to my computer, and then i'll post pictures with me and my favourite mammut wardrobe! i wish so badly mammut could meet my storage needs. i made my returns with no problem. we'll see if the new wheels work any better- somehow i doubt it. it totally sucks- 50$ for a chair and the wheels don't work.

anyway, right now i'm sitting on a stool, typing this on the old imac at work. it's a super slow day today, ch left early to go shopping for his big birthdaybbqfiesta tomorrow. amy's at lucille, making dinner and finding us a place to stay in nebraska. stacy's back from mexico, i talked to her today, and we started making plans. it was a little awkward. i hope things go fine without ch around. i hope i am a good guest.


ikea nightmare

it seems like everything's gone wrong. the castors on my chair don't roll. i got the wraps holder insead of the spice holder for the kitchen. i bought the drawers i wanted, but just the drawers, not the cabinet they go in. argh! i'm so glad a will be arriving tomorrow and she will drive me back out there, again. sigh. then we can figure out where in tarnation to put her car.
i want to have all the drawers put together and all the stuff in them before she comes, but it doesn't look real possible. i have to leave in an hour- i am going with ch to see shannon mcnally. i've been putting off a decision for so long. now it's been made. i'm gonna do it. hope tickets aren't sold out. her new album is really good. hopefully a will get a late start tomorrow and i'll get lots done before she comes.
i think we'll have a rocking time. all i can do right now is want time home alone, to unpack, to worry about my show. it will be awesome to have a vacation, to be out on the town, to be out of the city. summer, here i come!
buzzer rang- rice is done. hopefully. new recipie- blackbeans with rice and mangos. i'll be letting you know.


sorry kids...

still putting together furniture. i miss you all, i do. i'll read your blogs, soon, i promise.
i cooked for real for the first time today. corn chowder. i'm starting to get the hang of it. tomorrow will be the real chalange- rice on gas!
here's how nice the new place has cleaned up:



it's too late to blog now. i went to the costume shop this morning to pull for my show, went to the library to return my books, took the metra out to the suburbs where jen picked me up, drove me to ikea, and hauled all my stuff into and out of her van, came home, unloaded, and g was here, we watched but i'm a cheerleader and she waxed my hair, i started to put together furniture, but now i'm going to bed, because it's past my bedtime, and i have no time to blog.


eyelashes and tank tops

i've offically given up. my film is lost. the post office destroyed it. i will never get my pictures. so if you wanted to see wedding pics, new appartment pics, sorry, you're screwed. it's been 3 weeks. i'm so sad.

anyway, long day of shopping yesterday with g. we hit pink frog, ragstock, fashion tomato, nevermind, h&m, and forever 21. i spent way too much money and got way to many new clothes. including 2 pairs of pants. all i really wanted was a sexy black tank top- which i got. and a lime one- and a unsexy brown one... you can see where this is going.

jen's housewarming was last night. i dressed up, false eyelashes and all. the sexy black tanktop, my denim miniskirt, and my new boots- they're huge platform heels, cheetah print, that come to below the knee. they make me about 6 inches taller, and i can walk 4 blocks or stand 20 min. or any combination thereof in them. i looked fabulous, but had to stop 3 times to balance on my heels to give the balls of my feet a rest on the walk home.
however, now i know that my neighborhood is such where i can walk home at midnight on saturday night wearing highheeled animal print boots and a short skirt and not get hassled. this is good to know.

this morning i was up at 9:30 and thought i really should do something about that church thing. i looked in the phone book, but i don't know addresses that well. so i signed online, and googled welcoming church boystown chicago. i got the methodist church, and their webpage said services were at 10.30, but the links said 11.15. i thought i could make it just a little late for the 10.30, but the broadway bus was so slow, i wasn't able to. but 2 blocks away is thepresbyterian church, and their 2nd service is at 11, so i went there.

the whole thing is just wierd to me. i have no faith anymore, but i remember it as nice, so i think i'd like to believe again, but i don't think that's possible at this point. really, the reason i'm church shopping is because i'm a terrible liar, and i need some facts to convince my grandma i'm still a christian. i'm shopping in boystown because i can't go to a church that thinks homosexuality is a sin again, and it's easily accessible via broadway bus. i find it all disconcerting- here i am, in this wooden pew, with these stained glass windows, holding my blue presbyterian hymal... the only thing different from grandma's church is the readings are an inclusive translation rather than king james. (well, and their whole "open heart-open door- open mind" slogan...) and when i push open the big wooden doors, they open on to: a parking lot full of suvs? no. rolling hills of pa? no. they open onto BROADWAY, for goodness sakes. to catch my bus i walk by 2 bars and the dry cleaners with the neon spool of thread that lights up in rainbow colors.
so i think my first reaction is amusement. as i'm plesantly charmed getting to be a redline commuter to work in the mornings, so i'm also charmed by the idea of a presbyterians in boystown. and presbyterians are really low key. they don't demand the whole huge committment that the vineyardites seem to want. they say jesus needs to take over your whole life. it doesn't seem to be too hard to admit god exists and show up on sundays in the presbyterian world.


technical difficulties

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it was a quarter to nine, we were running on las vegas time

yesterday after work, i went to the bookstore, wandered around the gold coast waiting for the wedding nazi and co. saw lots of stuff i could buy at virgin records megastore, and didn't buy any of it- aren't i good? my library books are over due, so they won't let me take any more out, so i bought a handmaid's tale to read. picked up a reader. had decided what restaurants we were gonna go to in my new neighborhood, but when they arrived, i was told it would be deep dish pizza. we went to pizzaria uno, and it was an hour and 20 min. wait. geez. so i gave everyone a reader section, and they made it through. it was pretty good pizza, for deep dish, when it finally got there. we went to borders to find kyleigh postcards and use the bathroom. they were too big, but we still spent hours looking at college books. why didn't i say, ok, it's my bedtime? i don't know. they have some sort of spell over me, i think. so they came up to my apartment anyway. i've got their approval.
they came into the flowershop today to see it, and say goodbye. it was sick, the freedom i felt when they'd left. i'm not used to having these feelings in my very own city- usally i have to travel to pa to get it. was filled with the feeling of FINALLY, everyone is gone, and i can just hole up and enjoy my new home in peace. but then after work ch wanted to go upstairs for a margarita, and i say, no, i live on the northside now, we should go there! so we ended up going to big chicks! the only way to get food was through tweet, and i didn't really wanna do that, so after one drink, ch and i parted ways to find dinner. i came home and cooked on my gas stove for the first time, very successfully making annie's organic noodles. hung up most everything that needs hammering- only 1/2way done with the photos in my living room, but almost there. then i took my beers and cookies and but i'm a cheerleader over to ch's, and ch and jack and i watched it. jack really liked it, and ch enjoyed it too i think. horray! it's so fun to be a northsider! the trip home took me like 20 min. from his front door to mine. gotta love that. i left about 11, so i got to come home to my apt for the first time late by myself. still seems to be a good neighborhood, folks walking their dogs. a car honked at me at broadway and granville, but they didn't yell or stop, so how can i complain, if it was an apriciative honk, and not a domineering one?
got a bit lonely, though, on the way home. just your typical friday night thing- it was so nice the way ch and jack were touching, i wanted someone to touch me when i got home, and i knew it would just be me... but i can't have it both ways! i can't have the place all to myself, AND have someone to share it with! so i'm on the lookout for the happy medium. as usual.


still charmed

it hasn't warn off, yet! the gas guy DID come today. it's a yucky sort of stove that has the pilots on all the time- you can't set anything on it. my meeting went ok today. patti was very clear about what they need when, so that was good to know, though hard to hear. the wedding nazi and co. were still in IN, so i decided to do a little shopping. at north and clyborn decided to go to the container store instead of just the hardware store. and while i was there, i thought i should go to CB2, and then i had to go to the crate and barrel outlet, and if i was there, i should go next door to trader joes... it's a dangerous part of town, lemme tell you. but i got my stuff back home and met them at their hotel, then off to dinner and millenium park, buckingham fountain. they just want a chicago experience, they don't seem to have any opinions or preferances. i don't know where to eat dinner on the gold coast! glad i work tomorrow while they're in hyde park. REALLY glad they're not staying here. anyway, still, as usual, past my bedtime.

home sweet home

guess what kiddos! i'm back online! writing this from my very own home computer! sbc guy came today- connected! i've got a working jack, baby! will tell more stories as i have time!


catch up

it's been almost a week. have you missed me? i'll check the comments next, and find out. so, mom and allie came with no trouble. they shut my phone line off in the old place friday morning. mom was gonna sleep in the new place friday so she wouldn't have to wake up so early to pick up the uhaul. when we got up there, no electricity. called comed, they said it's been on. called maintenance, he said he'd come look at it. we went to target to get mom camping supplies. called john again and he said the breaker was out, he couldn't get a new one till saturday morning, couldn't fix it till after he got home from work saturday. so mom camped out. allie and i went south to finish packing.
everyone showed up mostly on time sat, except for g, who said she had the flu. it was long and tiring, but everything went fine- ch and mom called themselves thelma and louise and drove the uhaul everywhere without getting lost. plants, bike, bags of clothes fit in jen's van and pam & mike's car. the uhaul was packed so well nothing even shifted.

jen, z, and pam

mike the gargoyle
we bought bags of ice to keep the food cold in the fridge and freezer. we discovered a huge leak above my toilet. i learned the indian place doesn't start delivering until 4, so jen and i found a takeout place. i got lots of high quality, middle priced indian food. my movers enjoyed it.
allie mom and i started unpacking, and got dinner at the new, adorable "blue elephant" around the corner. while we were eating it, my ceiling fan turned on. john came up, and almost started to cry when i showed him the leak. he didn't care at all about the phone jacks or the stove after that- he just said to call the gas and phone company. but sat. night i had electricity, and sunday morning the leak was fixed. unfortunately, i couldn't call the other utilities until today- major problem with the holiday weekend.
sun. ch invited us over for lunch, so we spent the morning trying to sand down my kitchen cupboards enough that the doors shut- a thankless task. they still don't, but it's a bit closer. lunch was a nice break- so glad he lives so close! and mom and allie got to meet jack. then we went shopping, but z had a headache, and if z's not happy no one around her can be. so she didn't enjoy american apparel or urban outfitters- and she didn't even want to enjoy the photo exhibit in millenium park- we ended up only seeing half of it. we came home, ate dinner, and she took a nap. mom and i went to montrose harbor to watch the fireworks with ch and jack. it was really nice, but z was mad when we came home. i was SO exhausted, and they were starting to have a fight, but i woudn't let them. so instead it was knockdown, drag out all morning. sigh. thanks for blessing my home with all the bad vibes of the way we relate every time we get together. luckily they were a bigger help then their bad energy.
however, was glad to see them go after that. g came over for an hour to help me hang up posters. i was still tired, quiet, turned off. i'm really over her. it won't be hard for her to go to costa rica. she's not in my life now, really. once she left i was too tired to work anymore, so i took a shower, ate a sandwich, and watched the incredibles. i liked it!
was so sad this morning when i woke up with no breakfast food in the cupboards. i know where the dunkin donuts is, though, so i bought myself a bagel for my new commute. i'm so excited! i wonder how long it will take for it to get old or normal. can you believe i live off the RED line? i can't. i ride the train everyday! horray! called the utilities. gas guy will come tomorrow morning, phone will be fixed by tomorrow. or so the computer says. we'll see. i bought a huge pothos from work to hang in the window alcove in my shower. now i'm dragging it around with me. i'm in the library now, using their computer access. i have a production meeting (scary!) tomorrow that i have to do research for. now. not having internet access sucks. it makes me think about getting high speed, but my cable was much too long so mom and i hacked it off in the kitchen. and dsl comes through the phone lines too. sigh. it will work out, i know it will.
i don't know about the irish 1930s costumes, though. will those work out? i can't seem to get anything done in the summer time. come on now! i'm moving! no way am i gonna do school work!
i seem to be obsessed with unpacking. i did it all immediately- i want home to be home. i have huge boxes in my closet, though. i miss all the built in storage in my old closet. i need to go to ikea, get some more drawers, cupboards, for all my clothes and letterwriting supplies, clip art, yarn, games, etc. there's great storage at my new place, but up high storage, inaccessable storage, stand on a stool to get it kind of storage- not flip through envelopes kind of storage.
so it should all be ready(not the boxes in the closet, but everything else) when the wedding nazi and her family come tomorrow. i'm a little bit worried. but hey, how much emotional damage can anyone do in 2 days?

stay tuned to find out.