11.2.07

loving me is very complicated

how can i feel like no one understands v-day enough to send me love or greetings, yet there are others in my life who won't give me enough space to just be alone when i'm not working? it's this terrible oxymoron- i want to be with people and feel their love and sympathy... but i don't want to spend any time doing it.

i prepared emotionally very poorly for this v-day. but i'm learning things, and next year will be better.

i am also ready for my weekend. still another week before i get to sleep in though. why i'm not whining: ch was doing payroll today and i'm already getting overtime. i guess it sounds like i am whining, though. oh well. a's advice was to suck it up and stop answering the phone unless i'm emotionally prepared to deal with whatever's on the other end. maybe i should take it.

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