the beach was great. i did a terrible job of analog blogging. it's really pitiful. most of my musings were on family or body image. all that trimming i did before i left made no noticable difference. i was very uncomfortable with my upper inner thighs, but walking down the beach i had a bit of a revalation. i'm used to hanging out with my cousins sarah louise and celeste (aka partyinabox) who at 21, 18, and 14 are all perfect brown bodies with interchangable skimpy bikinis. but i started to see that everyone else on the beach had a body flaw or 2 they were flaunting- just because they didn't have perfect bodies didn't mean they couldn't wear bikinis on the beach. that made me feel better, but still i usally kept a skirt or a towel around my waist. louise kept talking about this chick with her buns falling out of her suit ("geez, lady, just buy a bigger size! you're not fooling anyone!") and it made me paranoid that the people on the next blanket were talking about me.
i'm confident in my own circle, and that is comfortably huge there. aunt ellen (also part of partyinabox) says we were over her 50 person estimate. it's so fun to be hanging out together.
we'd have an island of 8-10 umbrellas in the sand. there'd be 10-20 of us in the water at any given time- more than that this week, as the ocean calmed down after monday and got stiller and stiller until yesterday it was bay quality waves- prety boring, if you ask me, but it got those that married in or whatever into the water.
dad was telling stories of taking z and i into the ocean our first years at the beach, and uncle craig (father of partyinabox) said, "sure, you gotta take them in their first year, otherwise they'll be afraid of the ocean." i wonder if it's true. i mean, i was always a fearful child, and i was taught to respect the ocean (it doesn't care, it's not kind, it's blugeoned your sailors, it's spat out their keepsakes). when a. suggested nightswimming last year i thought she was crazy- i was hoping it was just cause she was drunk she'd consider something so stupid. i would never go in the atlantic after dark without guards intoxicated. on the other hand, there are all these chicks who are TERRIFIED of waves. i don't get it. it's salt water- even i will float over them. or you dive under them. if it's really wild or you make a poor judgement choice, you may get rolled... a little sandburn, a lot of water up your nose, some lost dignity- this doesn't strike terror in my heart. i feel a bit distainful of them. i guess when i'm feeling self concious in my suit it's good to feel brave and and good at something.
i caught very few things thrown at me, but most of them i was able to chase down.
the vegan anarchist second cousin twice removed was there with her boyfriend.
it's so fabulous to have someone in my family know me and love me. we rarely talk when we're apart, but we don't need to, cause we're bestest friends when we're together, and we know that will happen at christmas and the beach. they rode their bikes to the beach everyday, and i was jelous of how close they lived to rodney street and the freedom the bikes allowed them. but then, i know how to walk under the underpass, and i learned that route 1 isn't that hard to cross at the light. and so my dad's geography didn't separate me as much as it had last year, though my awareness of not exactly a curfew, but sharing a small cottage with early risers kinda cramped my style. was getting a bit stiffled by friday, but the zrews offered to take me shopping. (they get the cottage next to us. they're not really related- they are the vegan anarchist's father's ex-wife's sister's family- but they come anyway.) i borrowed dad's bike and we rode down rehoboth ave shopping. then when i got sick of wasting my precious day, i left them and rode to the beach. oh wonderful feeling of freedom! to be on such a nice bike, at the beach, alone! i was moving, connected, independent, alive. the ride was oh too short- there is no reason for us to drive everyday. but as soon as i got there i had to hand the key over to dad- he immediately put it on the top of his car, he says the salt air is terrible for his brakes.
so sarah turned 21, but the vegan anarchist (who, incidentally, is going to mexico soon to study and so is eating cheese) and i never made it to the double L with her, or alone for that matter. i'm still not really comfortable drinking with my dad, so though i got mike's hard lemonade and drank all margaritas offered, i didn't ever drink even enough to feel it. not liking beer helps. also fear of dehydration- i would never drink on the beach. i don't care if you do, but i think it's something like tanning- cool, but i can't make it work for my body. gatorade for me!
anyway, i wanted to come out to sarah and or louise, but the opertunity never presented itself. there is lots we didn't get to do: kayaking, building a sand castle or sculpture, playing risk or 5 crowns. but all in all, i'm happy with the trip. there is more to type, i'm sure, but i don't think i'll have time. i need to go meet ch to pick up the vases from the wedding at midnight. it's the least i can do for him, poor thing. but god do i need to get working on packing and unpacking!
No comments:
Post a Comment