wedding blues

sigh. just talked to my mom for the first time since she left. i called her- she's much to distracted to remember anything about me. i'm so cruel... no, her discraction's understandable, fiance and him recovering from shoulder surgery at that, but still, i feel lonely. especially since ch told me that he won't be able to come to the wedding. he and i can't both leave the shop at the same time, and that gives us so little time we'd have to fly. and he can't afford it, and of course r should come too, and that they really can't afford. there is of course no better date, but i'm looking around for a reasonable substitute. i love amy, but i took her to my stepsister's wedding, and she's invited to this one on her own (and should be allowed to bring her own guest). and no matter how marvelous she is, she's still the best part of my life in pa, and i want to take a part of my life in chicago. don't see how it could work, though. i don't feel i know jen well enough yet. mairee will have already started school. g doesn't have a car. perhaps she's rich enough to fly. who would do that for me?