last post before pa.

don't know if i'm gonna be able to post there, but we'll see. even if i'm out to mom, i'm certanly not ready to have her read here. i'm too mean to her, and think i'll prolly continue to be so. so we'll see. and it's a vacation. i'll prolly be too busy. but i'll try and keep you occasionally updated with interesting snippits so you'll keep reading when i come back! i was so sad last night when g called and canceled. i sent a text to ch on his date- afterwards he texted me back if i was hungry. he went to the co-op on the way home, and bought some groceries. i was fiddling around on the computer, and he made us these delightful gardenburgers with homade guacamole on toasted bagels. it was divine. i so didn't want to worry about food- and was feeling lonely. and he came home and cared for me, and washed my dishes. i could so get into having someone else around the house. they'd just have to leave for large chunks of the day, like ch does... and then today at work, my phone rings and it's g. and i'm like damn, she's gonna cancel again. she's gonna fly to italy tomorrow to see the BadBoyfriend, and i'm not even gonna get a chance to say goodbye. so i'm prepared. but actually she's calling to invite me for dinner- she's cooking for the roommates. so i don't have to worry about eating again! horray! did i mention last time i was there, we finished traveling mercies? so what are we gonna read next? you guessed it, tales from the city! i read just the first two little episodes to her tonight, and she seemed to like it, so fun should ensue. there was this new painting on her floor- as she was getting together her laundry, she said, oh, don't look at that, i hate it! but i'd fallen in love. there is this thin pale girl standing in the center with a ochre dress with a big red cross in the middle and little gold circles at the hem. she has a finger to her mouth, like she's shhhing- or perhaps thinking. behind her legs sits a stuffed animal looking lepoard with a human face, and a small pink heart dangling from it's ear. and this girl's hair is huge- curly and brown like g's, parted in the center, flying at the top and long in the back so that it makes this giant heart shaped frame around her face. the girl and animal are floating on the white paper, and above them is a black and blue wash, with all this marking and sedimetation, watermarks and other funky things. i adore it. g says she may decopage on the wash, which i think sounds like a marvelous idea. very nick bancock. i was so covetous, i don't think i was very polite. she had some sketches on her small block for me to see, but she couldn't find it. i can't imagine being as careless with sketchbooks as i am with my library list. ("it'll turn up eventually- i'm not looking very hard") sketching is so draining for me, so uninspired, and i hate it so much, i can't understand her cavalier additude about it. i had taken the renderings i'd worked so hard on this weekend and she was very flattering about them. my characters seem so flat, undefined, personalityless maniquins compared to her creatures. but she was jelous of my fabric, showing how things really look, and we took a tour of the clothing in the sketches on her walls, and i could see i DO do wrinkles better. but it's so scientific- fabric falls this way, if the arm is this high the sleeve will drape this far in comparison to the other- i can only draw what i can see. but her few wrinkles show exactly where they need to to show the shape she wants. how can one just know that- just put them where they feel right? i thnk i'd rather do that than know why.
¶also, i got 2 care packages today! it was lovely. chocolate from the candy kitchen that justine's mom sent me for finals week, which i'll probably leave for charles, the illustrious housesitter to eat, and stuff from amy- homeopathic blues lozenges, pictures from the beach, chocolate chip bars. it was so delightful. i felt totally loved and understood. i took them over to g's to share with her roomates, and they thought they were delicious-so impressed. i told the story about marty and amy's cooking, and they were so properly affronted. so it's not just me. don't worry, i'm going into my trip open minded, or as open as i can force my mind to be. (this is required in my optimistic family.) however, i'm not gonna be nice to make mom happy and be shocked and hurt this time. i'm gonna try and be prepared and give as i get. i'll keep you all posted as to how it works out.