speed dating and more

sorry, i've been sewing instead of posting. also TRYING to take a bite out of my emails that have been stacking, piling up. so lets see. speed dating. i guess the prequel to that is s. after not hearing from her for a week, sending tms once a day or so, i sent her an email asking her to respond if she still wanted to hear from me, and she never did. as someone who always looks for the best in the situation, i was a little worried that something horrible happened to her. but thanks to modern technology, i was able to go on myspace and see that she was actually logged in today, so she still lhas internet access. there has been nothing stopping her from saying, "um, your nice and all, but too clingy" or "i liked you till i saw your mustache" or "this really isn't working" or "leave me alone, bitch." nope, she just disappeared. i'm pretty angry about it, not as much about being ignored as thinking she was this honest straightforward person who would tell me what she thought.

so anyway, my attitude was onward and upward, and it timed nicely with speed dating tuesday. it was really awkward at first, because it seemed like everyone came with a friend- can't lesbians do ANYTHING alone? so i was standing around, gulping my drink, waiting to start. we finally did- a pretty big group, we took up the whole restaurant at tweet- between 20-30 people, i think. it worked this way- we chatted for 2 minutes, then moved on to the next girl. we could check not interested, friendship, or lets try dating boxes. then the organizers collected all our sheets, and emailed us if we both checked either friendship or dating. i met 14 girls, and i checked dating for 3, not interested for 2, and friends for all the rest. there was one super hot blond mowhawked girl that i was totally into- want to hear from her so badly! then a couple of other fun people.

so on wednesday after work i rush home to my email to see my results... and they haven't been emailed yet. sigh. luckily, dating alone makes for good stories for ch- which is all i guess i ever needed out of the process. so anyway. was a lazy bum wednesday night, didn't get the pants cut out as i had hoped. so that meant yesterday was an intense day of just sewing. i spent all morning cutting out both pairs of pants and both jackets. then i took a break for lunch, then sewed the pants together. didn't get done until 9. was out of food, so i went to the taquira. walking home i was contimplating how old i was when i first heard of tacos. it was actually the frightfully old age of 6. i was in first grade, and the children in our reader wanted tacos. there was a little picture over the hard words, one of which was tacos. i of course had been reading since before kindergarten, and needed no pictures, but was facinated by this food i was not familiar with. i think i eventually told my mother, and she started buying old el paso taco kits. which makes me wonder about taquirias in reading. i mean, there's gotta be some. i guess mom doesn't ever have a late night taco craving, though. she's more the instant ice tea, saltines, and chocolate chips snitched from the bag in the freezer type.

oh, so more about my mother- was talking to stacy today. (who of course, called us, cause though i promsed to call her first the next time i have sex, i will most likely never have the opertunity... i told you about my new wardrobe making ch call me his doppelslut? i was saying to him sadly today when i put on the sluts of pride mix, i'd like to be a slut, but i'm not very good at it. i've been very unsuccessful. and he says it's a mindset and it's just not me and it's probably not gonna happen. i said maybe i could get therapy and that would make me a better slut. he said i could try, but chrystal meth would probably be more successful. but i'm skin and bones already. can you imagine me as a meth adict?) i don't remember how we started talking about my mom, but i was telling her about marty and she kept probing about why i don't like him, and she said, "well, and he goes down on her," to which i thought the best reply was, "eww, let me put you on hold, talk to ch now." but while he was talking i had the perfect esprit de escalier, which i made him tell her. i SHOULD have said, um, no, i don't think so, she seems more the type to take it up the ass.

but come on. someone's mother? you don't say that. eww. ch was talking to me later today, and i said that the most upsetting part of the thought to me was his mustache. and ch said, "please. i've seen plenty of sex toys with mustaches" which is so so funny, of course refering to this:


anyway, after work today i quit the fashion designer. i think she's as glad to see me go as i am to be done with her. now the last 2 jackets are just sewing for my freedom.

and when i got home, i finally got my diva dating matches!! and blond mohawk girl? checked not interested in me. i'm heartbroken. ok, that's just cause it's friday night. but 2 other total cuties also checked not interested. in fact, only 4 people, out of the 14 i dated checked friendship. no one thinks i'm dateable. maybe it's just friday, but it sure makes me feel unloveable. of the 4, one is runner up for cutest girl there, so that's nice- i didn't actually date her, just wrote her number down at the very end, because i tried to strike up a conversation, and she thought she'd met me before, maybe at dyke march. one is her friend, who was lots of fun, one was one of the first people i dated so i didn't take very good notes and have a hard time remembering her, and one i have "not convinced" as her discription.. as i recall, she was kinda frumpy, but kind.

so i was feeling really self loathing and totally un-loveable. but i ate my lentils and mint, and christopher called and said that he only needs one assistant for spectacle, and he wants me. and he has to tell the other person he doesn't want him. so those things made me feel a little bit better.

so now there are so many options of things to do tonight. a really hot girl band is playing at the jackhammer's flesh hungry dog show tonight. ember swift is playing at the speakeasy. and i was planning on going to the black and white dance party at circut, but now i don't think i can bear it. i'm tired of everyone being paired, even if it is just with friends. and i don't wanna run into any of the 8 woment who are not interested in me. and it's raining. but i think i'll be friendlier at the party since i'm so depressed, and if i stay at home, i'll just keep going down farther.