lets see. today was pretty nonexisitant- i'm so glad i finished up the sewing last night and didn't have to worry about it today. i finished nancy garden's endgame in bed this morning. not one of her delightful lesbian young adult reads, that's for sure. it was a slightly geeky kid who is picked on by bullies, and who's dad doesn't understand him- in the end he ends up shooting out his classmates littleton, co style. he calls it "the Plan" for getting back at the jock with his dad's semiautomatic, but you'd think he would be smarter- as a Plan, it kinda sucks. he ends up not managing to kill himself, or 2 of the super anoying jock, but still manages to kill his best friend, an innocent bystander, and paralizes a really nice girl who his brother is dating. he gets a miserable life in jail, and the bullies get memorialized= not the results i'm sure he wanted, or even ones that gave the readers a feeling of completion, that justice had been done. but the discomfort i felt at the end of the book- i realized after a moment, it was a familiar discomfort, something i'd felt recently while blogging- it's the same attitude i have towards the war. they thought they had a Plan, but it really sucked= violence is such a terrible way to accomplish what you want. it works so poorly, so many innocent people get caught in the crossfire, the ones you want dead don't get dead, you look like a soulless murderer, the shits who were so mean to you get memorialized, because really, they too deserved to live longer. all because you thought you'd get beat up if you tattled. this makes me realy uncomfortable about my country. but still, i am very content and staid. i'm not burning my passport or moving or anything. i'm content to sit her and complain just in my blog, where my 10 unique visiors a day are the only ones who read. i was feeling badly about this the other day, after i wrote my last war blog. about how i have all these beliefs but i don't act on them. i believe war is wrong, yet i live in america. i believe we should provide for the poor and homeless, yet i want nothing to do with them myself. but then i realized, everyone has their thing. i don't have much money to throw around, but i do give to the food depository each thanksgiving (mostly because i was on the reciving end of it one year...) and though i suck at social justice, i am a good environmenalist. i'm a vegetarian, i buy local, i dry my clothing at home, i conserve water, i only use recycled paper, i reuse plastic, i use blue bags. (i know better than to say i recycle, but participating in the blue bag program is the best i can do.) so anyway, i hope my karma is mostly balanced.
did nothing today but chores and went to bob and tom's housewarming party. had a good time there, drank too much wine, ate too many cheese cubes, met lots of theater b gays. jen and her old roomate sarah were there, so i wasn't the youngest- but i did socialize more than they did- parties can really be fun. i didn't create that much of a sensation dressed as a boy- i cemented my hair down, too, and put a little side part in- and while you know i how i like to create a sensation, i also felt like people treating me natural made the costume even more successful.
but now the weekend is over. time for me to eat my rice and indian mushrooms. maybe watch a movie, do the email thing, then to bed. but no more projects for the fashion designer! my life is perfect.
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