2.9.05

katrina thoughts

have been online reading about the south for about 2 hrs, now. i am so glad i don't have a television- i don't think i could bear that sort of news. even the red eye is getting silly for me, though i love their big photographs. i really love getting my major disaster news from random blogs, i've found. i'm into first hand accounts. followed some links in dooce's husband's comments. it's not quite as personal as reading annie mole of tube diary after the bombings in london, but i'm sure it's better than fox. like that tragedy, i keep thinking about what i would do, what would it be like here. what if there was a storm on lake michigan that caused it to destroy 80% of the city? when would i go to nan's in oak park, to pennslvania? would i know to take anything with me? i'm not really affected, it's strange... i mean, i'm affected by the collective conciousness of news and media and it being such a big topic of conversation, but i''m not even affected by the rising price of gas. i know it's over $3 here, but how high? got me. horray for the el.

also, i'm shocked by the hardness of my heart. i feel for them, yes, it's horrible. unimaginable. not just being a refugee, but not being able to trust that you will be given water, food, safety from snipers and rapists- that's the scariest part. but i don't feel compelled to jump on a plane and help out. or start my own aid plan. i don't even feel guilty for being helpless. i know what i can do- give money to reliable charity. i'm happy the world is full of such caring people. i really like them, and want to support them. i'd like to be one of them, but i'm just not. hopefully someday i'll grow out of this self centeredness.

someone was talking about the economic disparity with 11 september, and it's certainly something i've noticed. the rich people were long gone. when ch started discussing it today, i said i have yet to see a white person in a disaster photo. he said he had, but he watches much more tv than i do. american poor are used to the government giving them the shaft. i wonder if 11 september was so much more unifying because of this?

ch was laughing about people who had never been outside of mississippi saying how it was like a third world country. then he was telling me about an interview with a doctor without borders, who had been in third world countries. he said that the big difference was, in africa, people are resigned to their fate. here in america, in the land of customer service, people are incredulous, disbelieving, don't know how to handle the horror that's befallen them. there seem to be lots of comments, "i can't believe this is happening in america!" but being poor in america isn't a piece of cake without disaster. (and i mean poor for real, not g & joe's "but i have alot of student loans!" sort of poor) the people of new orleans weren't living fabulous lifestyles before they were told to leave with no means of doing so. and we won't even talk about the people who really live in third world countries, not just places that have been like third world countries for the past few days. i can believe this is happening in america, this is happening all over the world.

i've been reading how we've been refusing help from other countries. mom was telling me of watching satelite tv from other countries and how they're being all generous and sarcastic, which i think is fabulous. our government is not pretty or smart or funny.

mom's favourite one is the president of venesuela promising the us cheap oil. no hard feelings againt pat roberson... isn't that hilarious?

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