so tired

too tired to cook dinner, in fact. am just going to type online, and have my dishes and messy house get me down. i am too overwhelmed with my life right now. i want to just work, i can't keep up work and everything else. i my subconcious has decided that the easiest thing to get rid of is all my friends, so i'm just alienating people left and right. not that this is any judgement on them- i am the alien in the relationships. it's like i'm going down a list, one after another, and fucking them all up. i hate myself for it (among other things) but i can't seem to stop it, just the same.