if you can...

why not post twice on saturday, esp. if you've been remiss at posting regularly this week?

i guess i'm posting because i'm feeling particularly passionate recently. it's just one of those phases when everything's so stong, you know? it's not just how mad i am at g. it's also how happy i am to water my plants and watch my cat lay in the sun on the balcony (and have my stomach drop out in fear as i watch her stick her head and her front paws and her shoulder blades under the railing getting ready to jump...) and the incredible sensual feeling i get when i go outside. the wind blows at my hair, and the way it feels when it touches my scalp sends shivers through me. it's amazing, i can't talk for a few minutes until i get used to it. i'm amazed how many nerve endings are on my head and how long i've been covering them all up. or protecting them. it's a very vulnerable haircut. i do feel rather exposed. the post office ladies said i look older, but i don't think so- i was carded at boni vino, which has never happened before, and when i asked at walgreens about dirt, he was all we can carry it to your car for you honey. i was like, that's nice, but i'm good. i got my own dirt, thank you very much, and carried the 20# of it the 1/2 mile home with no trouble. i've carried much more awkward things much farther. did he think i looked weak, or just like i don't wanna get my hands dirty (and i guess my husband was gonna plant my little posies when i got home) ? what else- girlyman's little star came and it's just as beautiful as them in concert. that gives me regular shivers, too. it makes me ache with longing, for something- i don't know what. the missing third to ground all these open fifth harmonies. something.

it's too hot to cook, but i'm so hungry. not sure what i'm going to do about this. i need to go to the hardware store to buy a jack or 2 to see if i get brave enough to replace them.... and some screen, hopefully, to help keep mitzi on the 2nd floor. and if i'm heading that way i might as well go to the library, so then i might as well go to the grocery store again....

regardless, i should do something besides sit in front of the computer.