pick a title, any title

sometimes i have a hard time with blog titles, i should write the entry first then go back and title it, because i'm not always sure what's gonna be the feature when i start writing. but if i get any good lines during the day, i'll write them on a little piece of scrap paper and stick them in my pocket (or bag if i don't have pockets) so i can remember. and i have three possible blog titles for today, quotes from the flowershop. the pace was really wierd today- crazy busy in the morning, dead slow in the afternoon, and busy again at about 2 or so. ch spent lots of time on the phone, and so that gives me lots of fodder for blog titles. johnny b's doctor asked him if he was stressed, and ch was like, what did you tell them? jb was like, well yeah i guess and ch said, listen, tell them they can quote me. tell them i say, my roommate is living in a powder keg and giving off sparks, endquote, leotard, interpretive dance. that was the point this evesdropper lost it.

then ch was telling the whole thing to stacey, and she said, i love your faggoty stories.* he told me that that should be today's title.

but then, we were chatting, i forget what about, michael stipe, facial hair, time out chicago, something, and he says, did you see my mustache on the newest dildo? which just makes me think, what kind of place to i work, where that particular line comes up? really, i don't think it happens very often.

ok, and today's phototgraph is from my commute: yes, that's a woman in a bright green scarf reading wicked. i am facinated by the color coordination. how often do my books match my scarf? maybe she has a bunch of scarves and plans it. or maybe she really loves green and eats pistachio ice cream and lime jello and only reads green books the way mine all seem to have pink on the cover. anyway.

was telling my mom about yesterday's art, then l called and told me all sorts of wonderful news. but after we hung up, i just lay in my bed, so tired and hungry and lonely. i want to see l so badly- she's sick, i want to go out there and take care of her, and i get so frustrated how that's just not possible. i have tomorrow off, and i feel like i've already squandered all of my break, and tomorrow's just gonna slip away too. the 21year old was online when i signed on. he ivited me out drinking with his best friend, but it's out in the fucking suburbs and would take me an hour and a half just to get there. instead of saying, "oh, you can spend the night on my floor!" he said, "bummer, the busses out here stop running at 10." so i guess no friendly drinking for me.

i'm doing what i can to combat my downness.
-petting the cat
-took some mustard
-took off my thin hippie parachute pants and put on my tiny velvet sweats, and ruth's big cozy wool sweater.
-i was gonna make cold gingered asparagus and couscous with touches of dill, orange and pistachio. but that's way too much effort. plus, i'm out of ginger. so instead i walked to the taquria and got tacos.
-left a postcard in hannah in 3w's mailbox saying i was free all day tomorrow and in fact all this weekend.i peeked again on the way back from the tacoria so i know she got it.

i think, rather than do more reading, i'm going to watch a movie and knit. the thought of homework overwhelms me, but still, that's what needs to be done this weekend. all these things in my planner, and not a one of them crossed off. i need to start writing on the things i DID do this week so it looks like i've acomplished SOMETHING.

but how can these things be quantified? sure, i didn't get my egg blower yesterday in ukranian village, but i did have a lovely walk. and i found the house the characters in my current short story live in: (current= only in my head, needs to be written out before class on monday) i was imagining soemthing tall and skinny and brick, but my urban landscape was too philadelphian, and my characters definately live in chicago. but this is exactly where they live- in a brick three flat with a garden apartment, and 2 doors outside. i think the 2 doors looks very quintessentially chicago. the other really exciting part about my walk yesterday was seeing the first crocus: "you stopped and pointed and said, that's a crocus, and i said what's a crocus, and you said it's a flower. and i tried to remember, but i said what's a flower? you said, i still love you..." i also saw a robin, but it flew away too fast for me to photograph. crocuses make me so excited because they mean daffodils are comming and that means tulips are comming and that means spring will come, eventually. i know march is too early for spring in chicago, we still have one more month of winter (spring being may and june, with summer being july aug sept, fall october and november, and winter december-april.) but crocuses are the hope of spring, the promise of spring someday coming, whereas before crocuses, it's always winter and never christmas, just like in narnia, forever. only it's worse, because there's also no snow, just wind and bonechilling cold and nasty rain, and lawns that are trash strewn mud patches. march is the ugliest month. it makes me so curious about my photos from last weekend. i hope they turn out. and i really hope york gets their shit together and posts them online. anyway, enough from me.

*speaking of faggoty stories, cory and tom's short "Fairies" was on LOGO last night!! so MY NAME was on TV! isn't that exciting! now i need a favor from all of you. please go onto logo online and vote for fairies as your favorite short- they really need you to, because don't you want to see a feature length version someday? i sure do!