miles to go

blech. too tired to work. must work. so much to do this weekend. audrey comes tomorrow. sigh. wish i could concentrate on her visit, but i must write this paper, build this model, do these paintings, etc etc etc. did finish pages for you, it was beautiful and poignant, in a jeffery eugenedies sort of way- sad, but you knew from the very begining what was going to happen, so the rest of the book was the gorgeous journey of getting there. the corners are very dogeared- much to write in my quote book. to share with you, most of the prologue:
"...we will never be together. sweetheart. i am too brittle, hidden, and snappish, and you are too married. you are alltogether too married. for those of us who've never known the state it sails past us like a cruise ship, lamps all on and parties raging, as the water gently or rockily allows you to sweep across it. we wave from our smug or perhaps lonely shores, waiting until the sea-scattered brightness has withdrawn it's silvery music, and we're left alone in the dark, on dry land, to carry on with our unfettered midnight explorations. he's a lovely man, your jasper, not that i know him. i know of his qualities by how he illuminates you- you can see all through your body and most particularly your face as you tell tales of your joint adventures... so alive are these narratives on your wantable mouth and in your essential eyes that i can watch them, movies in my quiet head to play when i'm at home, stirring in my empty rooms, waiting for my own ship to come in. It will come. they'll find room for me somewhere. someone will cough up an extra berth on some deck or another, or there will be a lucky last minute cancellation. who knows, maybe i'll even be given a seat at the captain's table to mingle with all the uniformed fellows and their glorifying wives. no- not the captain's table for me, probably. probably something more like table thirteen, with the insurance agents and medical eccentrics, where i can be fêted as a storyteller- really! but how wonderful! tell us, what kinds of stories?- and be allowed to sip my sparkling water without causing too much trouble. i'll sit at my table onboard and silently toast you, across the oceans, where you'll be sparkling at yours."