8.5.05

much, much, much less fabulous

so we woke up at 7.30 the next morning. leah says, "well, i think we were asleep for all of 20 minutes." i don't know about her, but i was definately still drunk. i spilled my water during breakfast, and she still had glitter from the eyelashes on her cheeks- we were a portrait of the morning after, the aura of last night's fun still visible if you really squint. leah was so impressed that i'd remembered to hard boil eggs the night before when were washing dishes. (did i tell you that she is my perfect chore mate? she loves dishes and hates laundry.) but i felt very german with the lovely little breakfast i'd pulled off- bagels, kiwi fruit, eggs, tea. over breakfast, we talked about (back to this AGAIN, i know) her friend in lansing she's going to see, who is going to jump on her and hug her as soon as she gets off the plane, and leah doesn't like it much, and so calls herself cuddling deficient. i'm just horrified by this, and tell her that there is no deficiency here, it is merely being selective. i shared my fears of being a passive rather than an active cuddler- i find this a much larger inadequacy. but she encouraged me. she says, "the next morning, you always think back,wonder if there's anything you should regret, you wonder, did i really convince some guy to show charles his nipple rings after knowing him all of five hours?" someday, i am going to spend more than 24 hrs at a time with leah, and maybe we will eventually run out of conversation. but the feeling is always that there is never, could never be enough time- the moments are just too fleeting- it's like being with ruth or meike. a, i know she'll always be there for me, but with leah and ruth, there's this sort of amazement- how could anyone as cool as they are be MY friend? it won't last- as soon as they're half way across the country (or world) they'll forget about me.
i put leah and her backpack on the bus, and headed off to work.
MISERY! ch was still drunk too, i think, and i thnk he held it against me. jim was more annoying than ever. it was the longest day of my life. got cheerful texts from leah. glad i didn't have to be on vacation, work was bad enough. i'm really proud, i sent her to lansing exhausted and hung over, with glitter in her eye sockets. take warning y'all- come visit me in chicago, you too will leave this way. the day got much worse about 2, when i moved from drunk to hungover. i keep trying to say it's lack of sleep, but i think it was certainly alchohol, too. why am i so embarrased to be hungover? i was trying to drink alot of water, and every time i went to the bathroom, ch said, "do you need me to hold your hair out of your face for you?" which i think is just about the sweetest thing ever. ricky, our delivery driver, was totally laughing at me. he's much gruffer with ch, but i think i totally charm him. ch said he was bailing on hedwig, but i wasn't gonna eat my ticket. g's done with her ba, and she was ready to party, but i think she was just as tired as me. i told her that if i didn't call by 10, call me. i took a nap, a shower, blogged, nibbled. she came over, and we lazily left the house. the bus took 20 min to come, and we had to take a cab from downtown. the awfulness was surreal- neither of us had enough cash, and his card meter was broken, so we had to stop at an atm on the way. sigh. we still had to wait in line about 5 min. when we got our cushy seats and saw the band's instruments up front, though, we both got excited. it was a really good show. hedwig's wig was awful, though. she's supposed to be fabulous looking, the height of glamor. just look at the front cover of the movie box. i understood the ending much better than in the film. the sidekick- yosif or yanik or whatever her name is- she was really good. and the music, of course, rocked. g says she wants the soundtrack- she agreed with the review, "the first rock musical to really rock" but the train ride home was awful. i was so tired, and sick of talking about leah, which i had to do since i hadn't blogged yet, and just kept thinking about the ride home the night before. g didn't make good conversation. g was bored. there were delays getting into 35th- only one track. there were high school boys making eyes at us, yelling and whistling at us from the back of the car. (ignoring is the right response, yes? or should i engage them distainfully? i don't have alot of experience.) even the conductor was making eyes at us. joe came to 35th st to pick us up. wasn't that sweet of him. it makes me feel kinda slimy. g has never waited at 55th and the dan ryan by herself. she's always in a pack, or at least with someone else. my life is just so different. so home at 3.30 again friday night, and up at 8.15 to get to work. i felt much better, and it was nice to be all by myself in the shop. ch had left a good bit of work for me to do, and i was arranging SO SLOWLY that it took me almost the whole day to get my tasks done. left at 2, came home, did a project, but then proceded to sign online for 6 hrs. scheduled for classes for next fall, downloaded all my pics from my webpage, wrote those super long posts, downloaded some songs....
and now it's the next day, and i still have homework to do, and i'm still procrastinating. i will tell you about moving, and post my new pictures, and classes for the fall tomorrow. i promise. i'm catching up, very slowly.

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