15.1.06

i know what i know

so went to amberlee's last night. her networking party, and they were all strangers, film students with dvds to share. i was trying to burn a dvd of every fucking thing that could possibly be considered artistic i'd done, but it took too long, so i was empty handed. i took my ginger mini bunt cakes and lemon custard, and they were appriciated. i decided it wasn't quite a fake eyelash quality party, but i still wore THE red skirt. it was the winter version of l's fave outfit, the same thing i wore to that failed party of g's- high black boots, tiny black t-shirt, big loopy sweater, dreads piled high with the colored dread scrunchie z gave me for xmas- i looked much like the photo of me in the corner there. and i think it was just like g's party- they took one look at this girl who rode the bus into ukranian village by herself, and who was coming to a party where she didn't know anyone, and who was dressed so fabulously, and who brought such fancy handmade food, and they were all too intimidated. i felt pretty awkward, like i was so much older than everyone else, and like they were all part of this club i wasn't. plus, i wasn't feeling confident so i didn't drink much, and amberlee was pretty drunk when i got there, and REALLY drunk when i left, and you know how i feel about people who are drunker than i am. but i left at 11, and i had good connections coming home, so really there's nothing to complain about. jamie, would you please quote paul simon in my comments, so everyone else will know why this entry is titled the way it is?

today, i've done nothing. i showered, ate breakfast, wrote some emails. and now it's 6pm. i really don't know how this happened. it's truly amazing.

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