waah

i'm so pitiful. my cold just keeps getting worse. i wanted to call in sick today, but there's just me. there's no one to call in to. so i went, arranged flowers. it was long and lonely and tiring. in the middle of the day all these things happened at once, my wholesalers calling, ch calling, 3 customers, and z called too. i hate it when it all happens in bunches. z made me feel like such a bad sister. she's there, taking care of mom after her surgery, and i'm just playing with flowers in chicago. and z was telling me moms doctor thinks the bone wasn't healing right because mom did too much with her broken arm- she was driving stick and stuff. and so z was yelling at me, telling me i need to find a way to get mom from the airport. the problem is she comes in just a few hours before my surgery. i guess i could go meet her if her flight is all on time and everything. but if there's a delay i'll be late for my appointment. i don't think i'll be able to find a friend willing to pick her up, they all have to go to this thing called their JOB. and if there is someone who has thursday morning off in my small circle of aquaintances, i don't think i could convince them to wake up early to pick up my mom at the airport. i could have her take a cab.

and i really am a bad daughter. you may think that i'm just being hard on myself because i'm sick and depressed, but here's the truth: i don't WANT to meet my one armed mother at the airport. i'm not allowed to eat or drink anything for 8 hrs before the surgery, and i want to be spending 7 of those 8 hrs sleeping. i don't want to be waking up at 7 to ride public transportation, hungry and scared of my afternoon for 4-5 hrs. can you believe that? my mom bought an airplane ticket to come and take care of me even though she has a broken arm, and i won't even go to the airport for her. at this point i'm too stressed out about it. all i can say is take a cab, or just bring a backpack, or stay home and i'll get ch to close the shop and escort me to the train.

took some of those amazing tylenol cold and flu nightime before i went to bed. sure, when i woke up in the middle of the night i couldn't move, i was so suggish and nauseous, but that doesn't matter, i SLEPT like a rock and my face didn't hurt. however, this morning i was all stuffy again and still tired, and i didn't dare take daytime drugs because i was still feeling a little queazy. a called all chirpy the morning after, which was a lovely spot, esp as she was nicely sypathetic. and l called me back just to let me bitch for a while ("somehow she always turns those tears into smiles") on her way to work. she had so few minutes and let me use all of them to whine, cooing appropriately when i stopped for breath. isn't that nice of her?

now, last night i was also too sick to move, but i took some advils to stop my face from hurting and went to the grocery store. so if i got up that much gumption last night, i should be able to cook and put away my laundry tonight, right? but if michelle's coming over for dinner tomorrow, i wanna try and make my ginger cakes in the mini bundt pan. so i should make lemon custard for on top. which takes 4 egg yolks. so i'd make an omlet with the whites....

i'm too sick and tired to type that adventure. lets just say it's all scrambled together with cheeze on top, now. whatever. it tastes fine. although i had so many gross meditations to share from separating the eggs. really. they come from a chicken's vagina. if i think about dairy at all i get totally creeped out. definately thinking too hard, today. cause thinking takes so little energy. and everythng else takes so much.

meanwhile, ch is having fun in co.

he and stacey have been up to all sorts of trouble, i'm sure.

can you believe she used to be a vegbian? i'm sorry, that hot dog is NASTY.

oh, and one more picture. so many things become surreal when you're sick and just trying to get home. i couldn't deal with the crammed, slow purple line today, so i walked to the subway. i dove through the closing doors to get on my train, so i was much farther back than my usual first car. but the whole car had the same ad, which isn't unusual, but the add was for (keeping the theme here) dairy products... and it was in spanish.

it seemed very very odd to me. also i can't figure out what it says. i know "leche crema yoghurt" is milk cream yogurt, and i think nuestro is our. i thought sabor was clean, but it needs to be a noun not an adjective. and i have no idea for llego. it looks kinda like call to me. who am i kidding- i don't remember any of my high school/ homeless shelter spanish.

anyway, i wouldn't be able to share without the camera phone. thanks, nancy katzen. perhaps that is enough reason for me to pick her up at the airport.