missing

ugh. i could be in detroit for all the good this weekend's done me. am proud to say i left bed at 11 today and got all of my homework done. jen was online and i haven't seen her in a long time so we went out for lunch. it needed to be done, but it was pretty bad. first, she lives south on western and i live east on devon so it makes the most sense for us to meet at western and devon... so that pretty much garunteed me more indian food. then my bus came right away and she had to wait 30 min for hers, so i wandered around devon for about half an hour. however, i did go into a dollar store that sold hot water bottles and the orange tagged items were half off so i got a new hot water bottle for all of 59 cents. but anyway met jen, ate indian, but was wierd. jen's not the easiest person to chat with anyway, but i was in really bad form. i just kept zoning off into my chana masala, playing with the spoon, separating the oil from the top. she had to keep asking, "you ok, honey?" and i felt like such an idiot, some kind of drama queen begging for pity.

yes, i'm taking my flower remidies. the white chestunt seems to be mostly working, but the gentian which usally is so good is doing very little, and the bleeding heart's only so-so.

have i mentioned it's been raining all weekend? the bleeding hearts on magnolia st were neon lime with their hot pink hearts glowing out. it was very spring. the tulips are shrivelling in the sun, it gives me hope for may. the dirt puddles along my building have new hostas in them, bits of green and white by my building, very nice, and there's one lilly of the valley which will someday open.

not that lilly of the valley doesn't still make me embarrased and feel stupid with my snafu at work with them.

i need to go grocery shopping, but i can't imagine leaving the house again today. but i'm out of bagels, and i must have something for breakfast tomorrow. but nothing sounds good, i don't feel like eating, and i definately don't feel like cooking, so i'm not sure how i'm going to manage to put together a menu for the week. maybe i'll just go to the grocery store and buy stuff without a plan. and then there's the dishes. all those tupperwares of the indian food i threw away. goddess, it's sick. i'm such a bad steward. i think i can still use that term even though i'm not a christian anymore. there must be a new agey version for taking good care of your body, of others, of the world around you. you know, being greatful for the gifts you've been given and that shit.