mom signed online, back from florida.she ims me. she wants to meet allie and me at moosewood restaurant. i say that i'd rather not, and when i ask about her weekend, she repeats it back to me- i'm so angry that i close the window.
she continues:
FunkySheep: It was interspersed with doing things with Marty's mom but she didn't seem to mind us ditching her.
Rainheads: forgive me for being a fragile person.'
you have no idea what's going on in my life right now!
you wouldn't have even known i was going to ny if allie hadn't told you!
i am mizerable, i'm going to drop out of school, and you can't see it.
do you know what my week's been like?
Rainheads: do you know what my life's like?
i wouldn't want to tell you because you're so optimisic!
FunkySheep: maybe you should and I'll try to be realistic.
Rainheads: maybe i should. maybe i'm tired of typing
FunkySheep: why don't you call me then?
Rainheads: it's so much effort to interupt conversation to tell you- and you usally make me feel worse.
FunkySheep: interrupt what conversation.
FunkySheep: so what happened.?
Rainheads: i don't know! about your vaccuum cleaner! i only have 2 minutes until the phone goes out!
FunkySheep: I meant do you want to call me tonight.
Rainheads: no, thank you
FunkySheep: so what is going on?
Rainheads: frances is being her usual self
FunkySheep: that's bad.
FunkySheep: Is she going to keep you from graduating.
Rainheads: not if i do the work
FunkySheep: Does she want do-overs?
Rainheads: always
FunkySheep: what else is going on?
Rainheads: i'm just tired, thats all
FunkySheep: and mad at me
Rainheads: i thought, "do you want me to come to eat at moosewood with you and allie?" was a question, not a command
FunkySheep: It was a question. the rest sounded angry and disappointed
Rainheads: then why were you so mean and sarcastic back?
FunkySheep: I think maybe I'm bad at this media.
Rainheads: i'm bad at the telephone
FunkySheep: I didn't want to keep asking you another day if I could join you for lunch, so I thought it would be best if i dropped it and you could invite me if you changed your mind.
FunkySheep: I thanked you for being glad that I had fun on my little vacation.
Rainheads: i didn't wanna be mean and say "NO" just because i'm in a bad mood. i don't know if when i'm in an ok mood what my answer will be
Rainheads: as i recall, when i asked about your vacation you said you wanted ME to ask you again tomorrow, repeating my statement back
FunkySheep: and i am naturally optimistic but I can try and tone it down, on
FunkySheep: request
Rainheads: what i need is you poor things.
and not why don't you try harder to do this, and you can make it better, and not, oh yes, i understand, my life is hard too.
just oh you poor things
FunkySheep: I think this is an IM problem. asking another day refered to lunch.
FunkySheep: well you poor thing I'm not even sure what the problem is.
FunkySheep: But I can be generally sympathetic.
Rainheads: i'm trying hard to separate here.
i don't know how to communicate what i need to communicate and hold onto what i need to not say.
Rainheads: also had a wierd dream about you last week.
FunkySheep: ok
FunkySheep: what happened?
Rainheads: can we just leave it at it made me more inclined to blow up at you when you percieved to be rude and sarcastic?
FunkySheep: I guess we can.
Rainheads: subconcious is just too strange
FunkySheep: That's true.
FunkySheep: I'm sorry you are feeling so badly.
FunkySheep: We both should go to bed.
Rainheads: thank you for your sympathy. i apriciate it.
yes- i have a little more work to do
FunkySheep: but I'll stay up if there is something else you need to say tonight.
Rainheads: that's nice of you, but i'm sure i've already said more than i should have
FunkySheep: It's better to say it. Being blind sided is a scary surprise.
Rainheads: fuck. i'm sorry. i'll go to bed now.
FunkySheep: Don't be sorry. We are both doing well enough even if its not our best.
Rainheads: glad you feel that way
FunkySheep: I hope so
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