procrastinating

can you believe there isn't a post called this already?
i rolled out of bed a few min. before i was supposed to be at g's. i called her and said i'd be late, then took my shower and crawled over to her house. i HAD to draw. it was an excrutiating process. i just mumbled and mumbled. i can't DO this. i'm dropping out. his arms are too long. he needs a fucking cape. this is too painful. what am i doing. was near tears. but i was over there and they HAD to be done and there was nothing else to do, and g sat beside me serenely painting. and gosh darn it, 4 hours later 13 sketches ready to be torn apart by frances, and /or put on drawing paper. still have to transfer and paint at least one. it'll have to be tomorrow. also have all my journal entries to write. 1/2 a semester's worth. that's why i turned the computer on. 48 minutes ago. cause i thought it'd be easier to procrastinate that way than to wash the dishes, do the laundry, pay the bills. all of which MUST be done this weekend, too. ended up reading all of persepolis, whichi bought yesterday, but i think i like too much to give away. what have i been doing this week? bloging. reading novels. it's been lovely. i'm not ready to go back. i'm so fucking sick of my life. and there's going to be over a year of it before anything changes. i don't think i can keep it up that long.