8.4.05

sleepless nights

after my fight with mom, i could NOT sleep. i called a. in tears, i finally ended up taking chemical sleeping pills. felt gross and groggy this morning, but they worked, and that's what's important. felt much better this morning, and as i was telling my story to charles, realized how rediculous i sound. it was obviously much more intense for me than it really was. and i was working with way too much subtext. i got more pictures back from york. i'll post the links as soon as i imbed them in my blog. after work i had to take fucking frances's figures to the film&theater annex. i had called this morning to tell her i was going to be stopping by, but she STILL wasn't there. i left another angry message on her voice mail. i was glad not to be critiqued on them today. AND, ch said he was feeling in the mood for pizza. so we met at boni vino! yum! i haven't been there in such a long time, it seems. their pizza is so good. it's so funny, we always have the same thing: a small pizza, half pepparoni, half broccoli, a glass of chianti for him and a coke and raspberry (they don't have vanilla) vodka for me. he got news today that evy and the kids are moving to austin in june- 6 months before he expected. also, rafa looks like he's staying in the city much longer than previously suspected. so no big chicks for charles for awhile. but me and the girls can go. g and i are getting together tonight, i think to watch a movie and wax my hair. but if i get my second wind and there are alot of her roomates around, perhaps we'll go to big chicks. i don't know- i think after g leaves, i'm going to move to the north side. i mentioned this to ch at dinner, and he whipped out his reader and and started telling me about apartments. he's a great apartment guide- he knows the neigborhood they are all in, and how close they are to public transit. i sent a text message to mom saying i'm ready to talk, so we'll see what happens when she calls. a. called me back on my way to 14th street (the garbage swirls like a cyclone) she was totally sweet and sympathetic. it should be good enough for me, having g and a in my life, being so kind and loving to me. who needs a mother?

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