four of seven

ch was so happy to see me today! i was surprised to see him, but he was at jacks last night and had to ride the train in, and jasmine's plane didn't land till 9, so he caught me up and finished payroll this morning. he invited jim to drag at annex three tomorrow night too. jim asked who else was going, and ch listed names. jim asks who jack is, and ch pretends to think and says, "oh, i think you know him, he's the guy i've been making out with in the back of the store recently." ch's awareness of being in "the pink room" makes it just a little bit more bearable. (the pink room is that state one is in when you first start a relationship. when everything is wonderful and your friends can't stand you cause your so fucking HAPPY but it doesn't matter cause you're in LOVE) when they left there were enough tasks for me to do it wasn't a really long and lonely day, though i was glad to leave when done. there are 7 boxed dozens of roses still left in the cooler- that's all we have left from valentine's day. well, and buckets and buckets of baby's breath. i told ch i may stop by g's and helen's on the way home, give them some roses, and their paychecks. i wrap up 2 bunches of 2 dozen roses each. i call g's cell, no answer. i call the landline, and helen or jess answers, and says no one will be home when i stop by. thanks you guys. friday nights are so unstable for me anyway. i have such a screw them additude (which is stupid, i know g has iv every friday, i know everyone else in the world has stuff to do friday nights) i don't know what's wrong with me. anyway, i called the purifoys, and they were home, and christie loved getting the roses. lily had just gone to sleep, and they were getting ready to go to the church retreat tomorrow. i remember that. i was the longest attender, except for the pastor, 2000, 01, 02, 03. i don't think i went last year. i was moving, etc. i guess. and i wasn't a christian anymore. but it feels sad and lonely (not that i'm not always sad and lonely on friday nights) that there was this big community that i was supposedly a part of, and when i stop showing up, nobody cares. christie is the only one who even mentioned noticing. and the thing is, the hpvc is all into community, they think it's their biggest strength. i think that's as big a joke as the xian thing is. whatever. fuckers. (not literally, xians don't have sex before marriage. or perhaps literally, with all the babies crawling around these days.)
anyway, i'm so glad to have a weekend again, finally. even though it will be filled with housekeeping and homework. but it will give me a chance to clean my house and my mind. on my dining room table are 2 burnt candles, a ligher, a set of batteries, about 10 paintbrushes, 2 pallettes of watercolors, a 2foot high stack of newspapers on a chair, a dishrag, my cell phone's earphone attachment, about 20 little chocolate wrappers, a salt shaker, a hankerchief, a essential oil burner, scissors, various cut out newspaper articles, and 24 long stem south american red roses with baby's breath and leather leaf arranged in a perfect sphere in my juce pitcher.