17.9.04

signs and portents

found out today ch and r are breaking up. how can this happen? as amy says, it's an institution. if my world is this rocked, how must ch feel? i wish i could do something for him, make it all better. i want to be a good friend. makes me depressed and loose steam for the whole comming out obsession, too. i just used their relationship 2 days ago to gabrielle as an example of a gay couple made for each other. oops. that doesn't further my arguments much. i'll tell her this sunday when we go out. as to whether i make it to the second napkin.... well, we'll see. we'll see how drunk i get, how drunk she gets.
mom called at work when i was alone, she was looking for charles for birthday gift ideas. so i told her, and she was very sympathetic for ch, and called r a dirty rat, and said she always thought it was an unequal pair and r got the better 1/2 of the deal. so that was sweet. but then she went on about what she had for rosh hashanah dinner, and then she was home, so she didn't want to talk anymore. i tried telling her that i had a problem yet, but it's stupid, cause if i do that then she listens patiently, but she doesn't really care. i want her engaged in a conversation sometime. if she is concentrating just on talking to me, and not on driving or trying to get me off the phone so she can welcome her dog or eat dinner or whatever, maybe then i will think about comming out to her. 'till then, forget it.
went to a church activity again today, and again it was pretty successful. horray! more work in the new offices. they sent out an email asking for help with ikea furnature. i mean, putting together ikea furnature is on my resume. how could i not go and help. if was fun, actually, and hard work. i love that feeling of being exhausted and acomplishing something.

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