paper nightmare

went to bed on time last night, and when i woke up this morning i just started reeading... got all my research done by 5. thought it was time to start writing then, and got stuck. i'm just not into it. the research was too much for one day, i can't think about this any more. called mom, she's having a party, g (miss "call me if you need a studybreak") is going to a movie with joe and friends, amy called just to talk till her friends came over for the bonfire, ch is having farreed over to watch amalie, yet another date. thank you all for making me feel like there's nothing better to do on saturday nights. for being a part of a loving community. don't you all know you should be staying home bored and pitiful in a sort of solidarity with me? i've written almost 5 pages, though it took me 6 hours. i guess that's not so bad. it's been just an arduous process, though. i can't believe i'm gonna do it all day tomorrow, too, though. thank god i can stand my topic. the boring quote i posted on jamie's site was followed by lillian herman's famous quote, "i cannot and will not cut my conscience to fit this year's fashions, even though i long ago came to the conclusion that i was not a political person and could have no comfortable place in any political group." and to compare and contrast, just like my paper, here's a maria irene fornes quote which i like, it reminds me of anne lamott: "i have my own complex filing system. my notes, for instance, i file under "current notes." those are the notes i haven't sorted out yet. then i have social, personal and diagrams. under social i might find something like "the other day i saw the backside of st.patricks cathedral. i blushed and looked away." social are the things i find looking out into the world. under personal i might find something like "the saddest moment when i am alone is when i tie a package and no one puts his finger on the knot while i tie the bow." that is personal because it has to do with my feelings. diagrams are thoughts that need illustration."