it seems like everyone feels this way. a, jamie, justine. why then do they only exist on the internet? why can't i find and connect with these people in real life? i'm sure there was someone else even at that party who went home and blogged about how out of it they felt and how uncomfortable, and there was this fabulous looking girl there who made them feel frumpy and unsocialable and why can't they be more like her? if only they found my blog! jamie, thank you so much for your specific examples. it makes it seem more believable that others feel just this way- this way being in part, "no one else feels this way i am so alone what a looser." it's still snowing here. it's continued to snow through my last 3 blog entries. i wonder how deep it is- looks about a foot from 8 stories up, but i'll have to go out. i said my first day of freedom i was gonna go ice skating, but i bet the rink is closed with all the snow. so instead i think i'll go shopping, a little cash therapy, get my ear pierced, maybe. ch thinks i'm crazy for going out in the snow storm. i think it's exciting. we'll see. if my feet freeze before i get to the bus stop, then i'm gonna come right back home. and i have to pay my bills first. we'll see if i get out of the house at all.
1 comment:
That just reminded me of something I realized a few times when I got to know people. Sometimes there are those people who seem like they are untouchable, pretty arrogant actually. You see them and you wonder what they are like, but somehow you don't dare to talk to them.
I remember there was this girl that had a few courses with me at the university. She was fascinating in a strange way, but I never could bring myself to talk to her, mainly because she seemed so self-confident that I was sure she wouldn't even want to talk to me.
Turns out she always felt out of place at the university and was this incredibly nice and open girl. What had seemed arrogant to me I think was a kind of protection for her, so that other people wouldn't realize that she felt pretty unsure. We still lost touch, but up to this day I sometimes wish I would have had the courage to speak to her earlier than I did.
I don't know exactly why I thought about this and wrote this incredibly long comment. I think it was something you wrote about always feeling like the only one who feels alone or unsure. We just don't show it and try to act as self-confident as possible. (I know I do it sometimes.)
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